


The Time Jimmy Messed With Magic

by Nataelex32



Category: Led Zeppelin
Genre: Bonzo dose not like flying, Crack, Doctor Who References, Domestic Fluff, Dreams, Fluff and Smut, Flying, Gen, Grinding, Hobbit lads, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Kinda, M/M, Magic, No Beta, Oral Sex, Smut, The Lord of the Rings References, Wings, bonsy are switches, bonzo the bear, charlie and the chocolate factory reference, cole sucks, deer jonesy, dragon jimmy, fox Jonesy, hurt bonzo, lion robert plant, mad jonesy, other references, potion master Bonzo, the big bang theory reference, wolf jonesy, zep lads as cats
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:14:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24130417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nataelex32/pseuds/Nataelex32
Summary: Jimmy messes with magic and his bandmates are the victims.Crack fic!Just for fun.
Relationships: Jimmy Page/Robert Plant, John Bonham/John Paul Jones
Comments: 27
Kudos: 48





	1. So! It begins!

Robert peeked out from behind the doorway. “Jimmy love. What are you doing? You’ve been in here for days! I miss you!”

“Come in Robert, I want to try something.” Jimmy stood up from the desk and held a book up in his hands.

He muttered an incarnation and then looked up. “Percy dear?” Robert was no were to be seen. “Robert?”

He suddenly felt something soft rub on his legs. He looked down and jumped on top of his desk with a scream. Down on the floor, a little lion hopped from the floor to the top of the desk.

“Getaway, how did you get in here? “ Jimmy thought for a minute “Wait, Robert?”

“Rawer” The miniature lion answered.

“oh fuck!”

Jonesy and Bonzo came running in. “what’s all the yelling for Jimmy?”

“Where’s Robert?”

Jimmy held the lion up. “I fucked up.!”

“YOU TURNED ROBERT INTO A LION!” Jonesy roared.

Bonzo burst out laughing.

“I can turn him back! Just let me say the spell again.” Jimmy fumbled to find the spellbook. He mumbled the spell again then looked back down at the lion. “Perhaps it takes a minute.”

The room was quiet until they heard another roar. A little bear ran franticly around the room, being chased by the little lion.

Jonesy was fuming. His face was red and he trembled with anger. “Jimmy turn them back! NOW!”

“Jonesy “I’m sorry! Please don’t kill me!”

Jonesy scooped up Bonzo and held him in his arms. “Bonzo calm down!” The bear quit roaring and clung to the bassist. He looked back to Jimmy who had managed to climb on top of a tall bookcase.

“Jonesy, I don’t know how to turn them back, yet.” He shook with fear. “I will I promise.”

Jonesy pointed to the cowering dark lord. “Figure it out, Page!”

Bonzo growled at Jimmy as he pressed himself against the wall behind him.

The only thing Jimmy, Robert, and especially Bonzo feared collectively was a mad Jonesy.

Jonesy held his little bear tight and turned to leave the room. “Come and get us, only when you figure it out. I’ll be back in a few hours to check on you. So you best figure it out before then.”

Three hours later Jonesy came back, with Bonzo the literal bear in his arms. “Jimmy?!?”

Jimmy was sitting with his head in his hands, slumped over the desk, and several open books. “I need more time. Please don’t kill me.”

Jonesy sighed then looked around the room. “Where’s Robert?”

Jimmy pointed to the huge mirror in the corner. At the bottom, Robert was jumping back and forth and shaking his head in all directions. His huge beautiful main flowing with his movements. “He’s been doing that for two hours.”

Jonesy fought back a laugh and turned back to his human bandmate. “JIMMY!”

“I’m working on it.”

Jonesy watched the lion play in his reflection, then chuckled. The little bear in his arms made a sound that sounded like a laugh. Jonesy left the room and opened the back door to the house. He sat Bonzo down on the grass. The bear ran around the fenced-in yard then climbed a few trees. They didn’t notice the little lion who snuck out with them. Bonzo ran around the yard again. Robert hid behind a bush then wiggled his hips as Bonzo approached him. He pounced and pined the bear to the ground. “Roar!” Robert called out.

Bonzo managed to wrestle Robert to the ground, but not for long. He was strong, but Robert was bigger and faster. They play fought and Robert won over half the rounds. Robert started pouncing on Bonzo at random until Jonesy scooped him up. “That’s enough Robert!”

One hour later Robert was sleeping in the middle of the floor. Bonzo crept up and sat directly on his face. Robert started squirming underneath, unable to get free. Several minutes passed until Jimmy shuffled over and saved his lion. He carried the protesting Bonzo and handed him to Jonesy. “This is yours.”

“You figure it out yet?”

“The spell will be gone in a few hours.” Jimmy cuddled the lion. “Just enjoy it while it lasts.”

Jonesy turned and carried Bonzo to the other part of the house. He shut and locked the door, before settling his bear down. He watched the muscles move beneath the fluffy fur as he ran. Bonzo disappeared in the room they kept the drum kit and the ever-expanding number of instruments he could play. He walked into Bonzo trying to climb onto one of the drums in the corner. He looked over to Jonesy then back to the drum. “Murrarw!”

Jonesy placed Bonzo on his drum and watched as he ran in little circles then stopped. His paws made an interesting sound as he pawed and hopped on the drum. Bonzo pointed to the recording equipment with one of his paws. Jonesy turned the system on and watched as Bonzo worked. He ran and hopped around until he started wobbling.

“You dizzy?”

“Roar!” Bonzo tumbled and fell back and rolled toward the edge of the tall drum.

Jonesy laughed then turned the system off. “You look like a drunken bear.”

Bonzo tumbled close to the edge again, then attempted to stand back up and fallback and roll dangerously close to the edge.

Jonesy narrowly caught a dizzy bear who tumbled off the drum.

Later that evening

Jonesy fell back on the couch with the little bear in his lap. “You are such an adorable bear!” He smirked and scratched Bonzo behind the ears.

“Muurrrawr” Bonzo cried angrily.

“Okay, a handsome bear!”

Bonzo smiled then curled up and closed his eyes. Jonesy leaned back and thought of the adventures they had had that day. He tried a million different foods, before settling on raw sausage to feed the hungry bear. They played outside some more, and around the house. Bonzo kept getting stuck in little spaces, leaving Jonesy to free him each time. He counted 10 times that he had to free the adorable little brown bear. Robert and Bozo chased each other until Robert found his reflection again.

Jonesy woke up to Robert whining. “Jimmy turn me back!”

Robert was human again. He looked down to find Bonzo human and his face directly in his crotch. “Bonzo. Wake up!”

Bonzo sat up, his hair in a hot mess. “Mmm, what?” He looked down at his hands realizing he was human again then jumped off the couch. “JIMMY!” He growled.

Jonesy ran after he pulled him back. “Bonz, wait!”

“He turned me into a bear!”

“I know! But first I need you!” the last half a whisper. “ The way you moved running around and how strong you were. The way you climbed the trees outside. How warm and soft you felt on my lap and in my arms. Now your fur – I mean your hair is – I’ve been half-hard all day, but now” Jonesy pulled Bonzo’s hand to cover the bulge in his jeans “after we will plan our revenge.”

“Jonesy you kinky little – “ They both turned to the open doorway where Robert was chasing Jimmy around the room.

“JIMMY PLEASE!!!!!” Robert begged.

“NO, I’m not turning you back!”

“But I want to be a lion!”

“You still are! You’ll always be my golden god lion!”

“Jimmy you’re making it difficult to be mad at you! Turn me back!”

“NO! I might turn Bonz back into a bear. Jonesy was mad. “ there was a brief pause. “He kinds scares me.”

That was the last thing Bonzo and Jonesy heard, before heading to the bedroom.

One week later Jimmy and woke up with his hair braided to Roberts's golden locks. “JOHN!” They cried out!

One month after the bear and lion adventure the entire band woke up feeling funny. Jimmy had played around with spells again. Jonesy opened his eyes and screamed, next to him was a kid version of Bonzo. 

Bonzo opened his eyes and saw the kid version of Jonesy. “JIMMY!” He shut his mouth at his high pitched child’s voice.

Jonesy pointed to Bonzos face “You look weird without the-“

“Shut up Jones!” He squeaked.

Little kid Robert burst through the door. “John! I’ve been-“ Robert stopped dead in his tracks. “Bonzo you look weird without your-“

“SHUT UP!”

“Where is Jimmy?” Jonesy asked.

“I uh, he is uhh. Bye!” Robert ran away.

They found Jimmy crammed into a cabinet hiding. “I’m sorry!” he was shaking.” He was dragged out into the open. “Bonz you-“

Bonzo slapped Jimmy before he could finish. “HOW? WHY? “

Jimmy giggled “That didn’t hurt much Bonz. You got little arms”

“Turn us back!” Jonesy hissed and lunged toward the little dark lord.

Jimmy shut himself back in the cabinet, causing Jonesy to fall into the cabinet door. "OW" Jonesy whined as Bonzo pulled him back and started rubbing his forehead.

“WE WILL BE BACK TO NORMAL. IN A DAY TOPS!” Jimmy claimed.

Hours later Robert found Jimmy still hiding in the cabinet. “Jimmy. Come on out!”

“NO!”

“You’re scared of them aren’t you!”

“John is terrifying!”

“Which one?”

“I don’t know, both, usually, but little Bonzo, not so much, go away!”

“I heard that!” Bonzo yelled from the other room.

Jonesy stood on Bonzo’s shoulders. He was trying to get the jar of chocolate goodies from the counter top, “Bonzo hold me steady!”

“You’re heavy!”

“Am not!”

“you were chunky as a kid!” Bonzo complained.

“No, I’m not you’re just weak.!” Jonesy sarcastically shot back.

“No, I’m not!”

“I got em!” Jonesy cheered. They fell back and the jar shattered, flour went everywhere.

“That was the flour!” Bonzo threw a handful of the white powder at Jonesy.

Jonesy threw a handful right back. Soon they were covered head to toe in white.

“Next time I will be on top!” Bonzo huffed.

“I thought I had the – Robert has them!” Jonesy pointed to Robert.

‘Ahhh!” Robert ran with the jar of delicious round chocolaty goodness.

“Robert you have to share!” Jonesy cried running after the blond child.

“Stop chasing me, my little legs can’t go very fast!”

“Give them over you don’t need an entire jar!” Bonzo tried to tackle Robert to the floor but failed. The singer was now much bigger than he was.

Jonesy tried to tackle Robert and succeeded. “hand em over Plant!”

Soon Jonesy, Bonzo, and Robert were spayed out, belly’s full of sugar. 

Jimmy came around the corner and tilted his head to the side. “What happened?”

“We got chocolate wasted!” Bonzo said, giggling on the sugar high.

Later that evening.

“Hey, we’re back! “ Jimmy called and ran around the corner. Robert stood up and looked at his reflection.

“We are!” Robert smiled.

“We’re not!” Bonzo complained.

Robert picked Bonzo up. “You are so cute!”

“You’re so tiny. You’re the smallest of all of us now. Look at those chubby cheeks!” Jimmy added.

Robert held him higher. “I won every fight today and your voice is funny.”

“Put me down Robert or I’ll kill you!” Bonzo wiggled in Robert's arms. He wiggled enough to slip from Roberts's grip and on to the floor. 

Bonzo hit the floor with a loud thud. “OWWWW!” Bonzo rubbed his elbows, with tears in his eyes. He jumped up and ran around the corner.

“Bonz I'm sorry! It was an accident!” Robert instantly felt guilty.

“You both have been mean to him all day!” Jonesy scrambled to his feet and ran after him “Bonzo!” He ran down the hall and found Bonzo in the bedroom.

“Bonzo?” he sat next to the little dark-haired boy, who was hiding his face. He wrapped his arms around his now smaller boyfriend. “John?”

Bonzo looked up, with tears still streaming down his face, and let Jonesy hold him.

“Hey, it's okay!”

“Robert’s mean! Jimmy’s mean! My elbows hurt!” Bonzo chocked out. “why am I crying?”

“My tummy hurts!” Jonesy whined.

Bonzo giggled and wiped the last of the tears away. “you ate more chocolate than I did.”

Jonesy looked down at Bonzo's boney elbows. “your bleeding. That must have hurt.” Jonesy helped him clean up, then they climbed up on the bed.

Jonesy and Bonzo fell asleep then woke up adults again.

“You still have chocolate all over your face!” Bonzo said as he licked the chocolate off.

“I’m never eating anything sweet again!” Jonesy rubbed his belly.

The next day they were all gathered around a fire. Jimmy slumped his shoulders as the threw book after book into the orange flames. “Cant I keep at least one?”

“No!” Bonzo growled.

“No one ever got hurt!”

Jonesy stepped forward and slapped Jimmy in the face. “Burn them all!”

That night Jimmy whimpered as he looked at his now empty bookshelf. He glanced at the clock. It read 9:00, still a bit early to go to bed for him. They were leaving on another tour the next day, so he decided to bed down early. He shut the door to his study and shuffled down the hall. He could hear Jonesy and Bonzo mumbling from the couch where he left them, watching TV that afternoon. The glow from the Tv flicked on the wall. Bonzo and Jonesy weren’t talking. He hurried his pace when Bonzo’s shadow rose above the top of the couch, then Jonesys arm pulled him back down. He remembered the last time he had walked in on them, it wasn’t fun for anyone. The soft grunts whimpers died away as he neared the bedroom door. He opened the bedroom door and found Robert splayed across the bed. Next to him was one of his beloved spellbooks. He grinned as he put it away under the bed.

“Robert dear.” He shook his lion awake.

“Jimmy! Did you find the book I saved for you?”

“Yes. I did my lovely lion.”

“This means you turn me into a lion again when we get back.”

“Yes, but we’ll have to send Jonesy and Bonzo on another little trip again. They can’t know”


	2. War of Magic

Jonesy padded barefoot through the house looking for Jimmy he and Bonzo had written a piece and he wanted his option. He wasn’t in the kitchen or watching TV. He peaked into Jimmy and Robert's bedroom and saw an empty bed. Robert was outside in the garden attempting to annoy Bonzo as he worked. He opened the study door and found it empty. Sighing he crossed the room and placed the sheets of music on the desk. He saw a book that looked suspiciously familiar on the corner, partially covered in papers. He picked it up and sure enough it was the very book containing the spells that caused so much trouble.” _If I stole it, Jimmy would know who it was_.” So he rolled up his sleeve and wrote the title on his arm with a pen. After he put everything back in place then left the room. Jimmy was outside with the others. He must have been behind a tree or around the corner of the house when he looked outside earlier.

He pulled his sleeve down and went outside. Robert was now playing football with Jimmy and Bonzo was still working in the garden.

“need help?”

Bonzo looked up and shook his head. “No. nearly done.”

“Hey I’m going into town do you need anything?”

“No, I’ll come with you. Robert and Jimmy are getting on my nerves.” Bonzo stood up, covered in a thin layer of dirt. “jus let me clean up.”

Once they were on the road and nearing town Jonesy turned the music down. “Bonzo. Do you remember that strange little book shop were Jimmy got all of those spellbooks?”

“Yes.”

“ I want to go there.”

“Why?”

Jonesy pulled his sleeve up again. “ I found that book in Jimmy’s study. Robert must have snuck it back into the house and hid it before we burnt the rest.”

“I love it when you’re sneaky.” Bonzo pulled in to the parking lot. “ We getting revenge?” They parked and made their way across the small gravel parking lot. Jonesy led the way through the door. The large room of the shop was dark. Gentle blue light shown down on the floor and shelves. They slowly combed through the books and found the book Jimmy had and several others. 

Once Bonzo had loaded the books into the car, he caged Jonesy in against it. “we should get something else, so they don’t suspect any thin.”

“We are not getting beer. We have enough at home. You've cut back a lot since we got together.” Jonesy pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. “ I managed to grab the list.” Bonzo released him with a fake pout.

“You put beer on her four times, no five.”

“No Robert did the last one.”

“fine, only because your birthday is coming up.”

They returned home to Robert and Jimmy making dinner. They carried in the food and went back for the books. “Bonz wait. Let's just wait until late tonight and bring them in, we can just say, we can't sleep and went for a walk.”

“I love you.”

Jonesy read all day and most of the night. He finished a few books and more. He was ready to try a spell. “uhh, Bonzo bear?”

“Yes, little one?”

“How do you feel about spending today as a little bear?”

Bonzo’s face was unreadable. “I wouldn’t mind.”

Jonesy carefully recited the spell. Sure enough, a little brown bear appeared in Bonzo’s place. He stepped forward and placed a paw on the book then pointed to Jonesy, his eyes sparkling.

“I will, but I want to try something first.” Jonesy turned a few pages and recited the spell. He concentrated his thoughts on his bear.

_“Bonzo, can you hear me?”_

_“Yes!”_ Bonzo bounced on the bed excitedly.

Jonesy muttered the spell form before and in his place was a deer.

Bonzo ran to the mirror in the corner and looked over to Jonesy then back at the mirror, He turned admiring his self.

_“You never saw your self in the mirror did you?”_

_“No.”_

Jonesy stepped in front of the mirror and slumped when he saw his reflection.

_“what?”_

_“I’m a deer.”_

_“So?”_

_“ You are a bear, Robert a lion, and Jimmy would be a dragon. And I’m a deer.”_

_“you are my deer, dear.”_ Bonzo hated seeing the hurt in his eyes. _“What?”_

 _“Nothing.”_ _Jonesy sighed and looked down at the floor._

_“Jones.”_

_“I’m fine.”_

_“John.”_

_“Why do you three get to be these amazing beasts? I’m a deer.”_

_“Deers er really graceful.”_

_“I wish I could be something else.”_

_“like what?”_

_“ I don’t know a fox, wolf, a…”_

_“I’m sorry I made you do this.”_ Bonzo cut him off, seeing his disappointment.

_“You didn’t make me do anything.”_

_“What if you concentrate and try to change into something else,”_ Bonzo suggested.

 _“John Paul Jones, you are the most brilliant human being on the planet.”_ Bonzo nudged the little wolf beside him, smiling with pride.

Jonesy moved back and forth examining his tawny fur.

Bonzo laughed. “ _er you gonna do that weird dance Robert did?”  
  
_

 _“you mean like this?_ ” Jonesy started dancing.

 _“It was more like this.”_ Bonzo joined in the little dance that the little lion had done.

The wolf pup and bear cub played all day, chasing and pouncing on each other.

The next several weeks Jonesy practiced several spells and a few potions.

Eventually, he was ready to fight against Jimmy.

Robert woke up and reached out to Jimmy who was curled up in a tight ball at his side. He snuggled his dark lord close. “M-m –m.” He couldn’t speak. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Ji –ji-j-“

He shook Jimmy awake in a panic.

“Grrr. Robert Anthony Plant! Why have you woken me up at such an hour?”

Robert pointed to his mouth and tried to speak, but only whimpered.

“What?” He softened at the panicked singer.

Robert franticly searched for something in the nightstand. He found his songwriting journal and scribbled on one of the blank pages.

**“I cant speak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”**

“Calm down, Robert. You’re just sick or allergies?’

Robert shook his head his golden locks flying back and forth.

“come here!” Jimmy demanded. He felt Robert over for fever. No fever. “open up!” No redness at all.

“People lose their voice all the time. You’ll be fine. “ Jimmy fell back on the bed. He head Robert scribble something else down, a hand-tuned him on his back and shoved the journal in his face

“what if it doesn’t!”

“It will!” He reluctantly sat up and pulled the spell book out from its hiding space. “I’ll see if there is something in here to help you.” Jimmy combed through the pages. He found nothing, to help his golden god. Then a thought occurred to him. What if it was a curse. He turned back to a spell that would tell you if and who cursed you. He muttered the spell and “ _JONESY!”_

Jimmy trembled in anger. He flew out of bed and down the hall. “JONES!” Robert ran behind him. He found Jonesy and shoved him against the wall harshly. “I know what you did to Robert!”

Jonesy struggled .”You deserve it after what you did!” He replied.

“Robert didn’t do anything!” Jimmy growled and dug his nails into the bassist.

Jonesy never expected Jimmy to react like this. “BONZ!” He attempted to get free. “BONZO!”

Jimmy slapped him hard across the cheek.

“WHAT IN BLOODY HELL!” Bonzo came out of their room. “LET HIM GO!”

Jimmy shoved him toward the drummer as soon as he started running. Jonesy hit the ground with a loud thud.

“PAGE!”

Jimmy was dragged by Robert down the hall to the study. The door shut and locked tight.

Bonzo knelt down. His expression softened. “Jonesy. Er you okay? Did he hurt you?” He hoisted Jonesy back up.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

Bonzo didn’t ask before he pulled Jonesy's shirt over his head. He examined every inch of exposed skin. “He did. Yer bruised.” He gently ran his thumb over a bruise on his shoulder.

“I’m fine. We shouldn’t have done anything.”

“No. He turned me into a bear and all of us into kids. Then Robert made sure he could do it again when he saved one of those fucking books.” Bonzo turned and marched over to the study and pounded on the door.

“JIMMY! Open up!”

“NO!”

“You hurt Jonesy. He has bruises on his shoulders!”

“You give each other way worse than that!”

“JIMMY! ROBERT!”

“THIS MEANS WAR!.

Bonzo shut the door and sat the basket of fresh veggies from the garden on the counter.

“Bonz!” Jonesy’s voice carried down the hall.

Bonzo ran to their room and looked around lost.

“Up here!.”

He looked up to find Jonesy stuck, spread eagle on the ceiling.

“Help, Please!”

“How am I suppose to get you down?”

“The huge spell book on your side of the bed.”

Bonzo opened the book and sat down on the side of the bed. “wheres the spell?”

“I think somewhere between pages 50 and 150.”

“you can't be any more specific?”

“No. I don’t know every single page yet.”

Bonzo finally found the spell an hour later. He held the book up toward Jonesy.

“I can’t read it. You will have to do it.”

“But what if I do it wrong and you disappear or die or…”

“Bonz you can do this.”

Bonzo recited the spell and nothing happened at first then Jonesy felt his body start to fall.

“Bon- ahhhh.” He hit the floor hard. 

One morning everyone woke up in different bodies.

Robert was in Jonesy’s body. Bonzo in Roberts. Jonesy in Jimmys and Jimmy in Bonzo’s.

“UGG Robert how can you stand these curls! I’m gonna cut it off!” Bonzo complained.

“NO!” Robert cried. “Jonesy how can you stand being so short? I feel like a child.”

“Jimmy, this is your fault for getting us into this mess!” Jonesy said.

“I wasn’t the one who decided to retaliate!”

The spell wore off at midnight, but the day was filled with fighting a near loss of golden curls and a very confused Grant who stopped by to check on them, and Jimmy’s forehead was red from Jonesy running into things, unused to the height.

Jonesy woke up the next day, in his own body and sighed with relief. He sat up and tilted his head in confusion. Bonzo wasn’t in bed and the door to the closet was shut. “Bonz?” He was rarely up early.

“ In here.”

He padded to the door and opened it. his blue eyes widened the sight of his lover. Bonzo was Bonzo, but six tentacles came from his back. “Jimmy!” Jonesy turned and started to take off to get revenge. He was lifted up in the air by a smooth, almost slimy tentacle. “ Put me down, put me down, this feels weird. “

Bonzo complied by setting him down and closing the door, so only a gap was left for Jonesy to peer in.

“Uhh, Bonz….”

“No!” the dim light highlighted his features and the purple tentacles. “I’m a monster!”  
  


“No, you aren’t, I might be able to turn them into arms or…” the door was pulled shut and locked.

“Bonz.”

“Go away.”

Jonesy hastily got dressed then made his way to Robert and Jimmy’s room he opened the door to the dark lord grinding down on the golden god. They both jumped when the door swung open and hit the wall beside it.

“ Jonesy we’re kinda busy.” Jimmy hissed.

“ Fix him. You are going to help me fix him. Now.”

Jimmy burst out laughing. “So it worked.”

“what worked?” Robert asked as he put a robe on and handed one to Jimmy.

They all moved back in front of the closet. “Bonzo.” Jonesy knocked on the door. “ Hey, open up.”

“ No, Go away!”

Jimmy pushed Jonesy toward Robert who caught him and held him in place. Jimmy used a master key and unlocked the door. He turned the doorknob and pulled it open. He and Robert burs out laughing.

“It's even better than I imagined” Jimmy fell to the floor laughing harder.

Jonesy struggled against Robert. “It is not funny!”

A tentacle came out and smacked Robert, causing him to release Jonesy and fall to the floor, still laughing. Jonesy was pulled in and the door shut behind him.

“John,” Jonesy said softly. “I don’t think you’re a monster. The color of them brings out your eyes.” He turned the light on but Bonzo turned it right back off. “ don’t look at me.”

Jonesy reached out blindly until he held Bonzo’s face with one hand. The other on the switch. “ I want you to look at me.”

The hazel eyes he stared into, full of shame and embarrassment. He knew it was taking everything not to retreat back in the dark corner. Jonesy knew Bonzo was secretly self-conscious. He was round, not thin like the others. This just made it worse, and on top of that they were leaving on a very long tour that included more travel and interviews than usual. His anxiety must be going through the roof.

“This is Jimmy’s fault. You know that.” The bass player cupped his face. “ I love you and stand by you no matter what. I’m here for you.”

“ I feel disgusting.”

“You are the most beautiful human being inside and out, in heaven and on earth.”

“No, I-“

“You are to me.”

Bonzo finally lightened up.

“You want to take revenge on them. I could turn those into extra arms?”

“I did that this morning, it was worse.” Bonzo opened the door with a tentacle. ”But yes let’s get revenge.”

They chased Robert and Jimmy outside and tossing them in the air with the tentacles.

“ahhhh. Bonzo please stop I’m sorry!” Jimmy begged upside-down.

“No!” He tossed and shook them around faster. The golden god and dark lord screamed for their lives. Jonesy rolled on the grass laughing.

The next day they all sat around the kitchen table.

Jimmy frowned. “We need to end this.”

Jonesy unfolded his arms and held out his hand. “agreed.”

“ I don’t get to be a lion anymore?” Robert asked.

Jonesy and Bonzo grinned. Jonesy ran his teeth over his bottom lip. “we do have one more day before we leave again.”

“Jonesy what are you proposing?” Jimmy asked.

Ten minutes later a Lion, bear, dragon, and deer were all running around the back yard.

Jimmy and Robert laughed at the graceful creature.

_“Jonesy show em.”_

Jonesy turned himself into a wolf, then a fox. 

_“How?_ ” the dragon and lion were wide-eyed.

 _“You would like to know.”_ Bonzo beamed with pride.

 _“Well, I can fly!”_ Jimmy scooped up the bear in his claws and took off.

 _“Put me down, put me down, put me down!”_ Bonzo cried.

Jimmy just laughed and flew higher.

 _“Jimmy!”_ Jonesy yelled, then was pinned to the ground by the lion.

Eventually, Jimmy put Bonzo down He ran over and shoved Robert off of the bass player. The fox and bear ran off and hid.

 _“Hey come back, we were having so much fun_!” Robert tried to find them.

_“Why do I always have to suffer?”_

Jonesy touched their noses together.

_“First Robert's bigger than me now, then he fucking dropped me, n Jimmy…..”_

_“I know.”_

They all played nicely for the rest of the day. That evening they managed to turn themselves back.

  
Jimmy came out of his study and sat next to Bonzo and Jonesy who were cuddled on the couch, watching tv.

“Bonzo. I’m sorry, for what I and Robert did to you. “

Bonzo didn’t reply and Jonesy rolled his eyes.

Jimmy offered out two tiny glass bottles. “Here a peace offering. It will last all night and you can both sleep on the plain.”

Jonesy reached across and took the purple read liquid. “what is it?’

“Piece offering. An aphrodisiac.”

“Are you implying that we need….” Bonzo said angrily.

“No! it just makes everything better. Robert and I use it quite often.” Jimmy headed to the kitchen for some tea.


	3. It continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first attempt to start writing smut and not just little glimpses or hinting at sex.

Jonesy slowly ran his hand from his lover's knee and up his inner thigh, then up and over to the outside of his hip.

“You can be such a tease sometimes.”

Jonesy reached between his legs and palmed him through his jeans. He dangled the purple liquid in front of hazel, green eyes. He didn’t have to say it, Bonzo knew. He straddled the larger man as he stood up and carried him down the hall.

Once inside the room, Bonzo kicked the door shut, and dropped Jonesy on the bed. They poured each half of the potion into shot glasses. It smelt like bergamot and tasted like citrus fruit and strawberries. The lust-filled night of lovemaking began. It started out as they had always done. Bonzo gently opening Jonesy up, then slowly sliding in. They fell into their usual rhythm, but this time everything was more sensitive. Instead of that bundle of nerves, his entire inside felt as if as sensitive as the rest. Too soon they both came, as always perfectly in sync. Except for this time Jones came completely untouched. They fell down on the soft sheets expecting the after bliss to soothe them, but before they knew it they felt a strong wave of lust rush through them. They changed it up, when it was clear this would in fact last most of the night. Grinding against each other, then cum filled their bellies. Each time in-between only lasting a few minutes. The moon was starting to sink when Bonzo fell, on top of Jonesy. “Don’t – think- I can- go – much longer.” He panted.

“I want to try something. Can you roll us over?”

Once Jonesy was sitting on the drummer's hips he lifted himself upon his knees to open the younger man’s legs. “Tell me if I need to stop.”

When Bonzo felt those long nimble fingers reach inside of him he nearly screamed out and his toes curled. One hand worked him open the other held his hips down.  
  


“Jones. Crist. MMMnnnnn don stop.” He panted out. “Don’t stop.”

Jonesy slowly slid in. Bonzo gripped the sheets beneath him _. “Crist he’s falling apart.”_ They started in a rhythm of thrusts.

“Jonesy love. F-faster.” Bonzo rarely begged.

Once the sun’s rays first shined in around the curtains Jonesy collapse completely drained on top of the larger man. “That was fucking brilliant.”

“mmmmmHhhmmmm.”

A short thirty minutes later they were startled by a rapping at the door. “We leave in twenty. All of your things are already on the starship. Get ready.” Robert's voice rang from the hallway.

Once on the ship and in the air they quietly retreated to the bedroom. Jonesy rested his head right above Bonzo’s heart. The steady rhythm soothed him to sleep. Bonzo protectively held on to Jonesy as if to keep him there for all eternity. The weight of Jonesy took all the fear and anxiety away from flying.

Eventually, they woke up and shuffled into the main part of the Starship. Where a feast made by Robert and Jimmy was placed out for them.

Jonesy came home from the market one day.

“Jonesy!” Bonzo’s voice sent panic through the bass players' body. He sounded terrified.

He ran to the huge room in the center of the mansion where they often times worked on new songs. It had a high ceiling.

“Bonzo?”

He ran through the double doors and slipped on a drum stick. He fell back and hit the floor hard. “John Henry –“

“Help!” Bonzo was floating above him, eyes wide hands shaking.

“JIMMmMMMYYYYYYY FUCKING PAGE!” Jonesy screamed. Seconds later Jimmy came running in followed by Robert.

“What?” He looked up and saw his friend high up in the air. “I didn’t do it I swear!”

“FoOOor FUCKS SAKE SHUT UP AND GET ME DOWN!” Bonzo had flouted even higher.

Jonesy slapped Jimmy hard, leaving a red handprint on his cheek. Robert picked him up by the collar. “JONES!”

“Put me down now or you both will get it!” Jonesy hissed.

Robert placed him gently on the floor then ran off.

“Jimmy!” Jonesy growled.

“I didn’t do it!” Jimmy backed up against the wall then darted out of the room, returning seconds later with arms full of books.

They started searching for the counterspell, until Robert came bursting back into the room, rope in hand.

Five minutes later Bonzo manages to grab on to the rope. Jonesy tried to pull him down but was lifted off the floor himself. He began to climb up the rope, sliding down each time he got more than a few yards. His hands stung, but he held tight. Next, Robert grabbed hold of the rope. “Jonesy stay there, try not to fall down again.” Robert climbed up a couple of feet on the rope.

Bonzo snuck down a few feet but remained in the air. “Hurry the fucking hell up!”

Jimmy found a couple of spells to try, but he didn’t want Bonzo to just fall to the earth. A fall from that high could be fatal. He sprang up when Roberts’s feet left the floor. The spell was getting stronger. Now all three were floating around the room. Jimmy’s feet brushed the floor every so many feet.

“I can’t hold on much longer.” Jonesy’s arms shook.

“You have no upper body strength.” Robert shot back.

“I beg to differ” Bonzo and Jimmy said.

Jonesy slid down again, hissing in pain, fell on top of Robert, who fell on top of Jimmy. They were all three on the floor. Rope somehow still in hand. Bonzo finally, was slowly sinking down. Jonesy reached up and winced when the drummer grabbed hold and held on tightly. John was finally on solid ground.

“Bonzo. I can’t breathe.” Jonesy whispered wrapped in strong arms. The pressure eased up. Robert placed a hand on his best friend's shoulder and squeezed before helping Jimmy clean up the room.

Bonzo finally let go of Jonesy and collapsed on the floor. Jonesy offered a hand. “I’ll make you your favorites for lunch.”

“Not hungry.”

“Tea?” Jonesy sat down beside him

“Your hands.” Bonzo gently held the bass player's red, raw hands.

“It’s fine.”

Robert and Jimmy left to make tea and Bonzo stood up and pulled Jonesy up by his wrists. He silently led him to their room and sat him down on the end of the bed. He pulled out a little tin box and sat beside Jonesy.

“What’s that?”

“Salve.” John gently started Appling the healing golden brown salve to his raw, red hands. Finally, he wrapped them in the soft white shreds of an old shirt. “Should be good as new in a few days, a week tops.”

“Thanks.” Jonesy whispered

Bonzo woke up in a cold sweat, heart pounding, breathing uneven. He shook Jonesy awake.

“Jones. Jonesy.”

“Whu?” the smaller man sat up, rubbing his eyes. “You have a nightmare again.”

“Kind of.” Bonzo propped himself upon his arm.

“You want to talk about it?” Jonesy mirrored the drummer.

“I dreamed I was King Kong….on top of the empire state building….you were that one ummm what her face is. Umm kind of and I was holding you with one hand and…. Umm Robert and Jimmy were flying in these tiny plains and I was trying to knock them down. They kept flying around us. ….Oh and Robert was in a Snoopy costume. At one point the TARDIS flew past us. Then Gant and Cole flew in and started doing the same thing. I managed to knock Cole down easily but the others were harder. Then the plains merged, but instead of turning into a big plane, they turned into a Zeppelin. Then you poked it with your high heel and they crashed. As in when you poke a balloon and it doesn’t just pop it just flies everywhere then falls to the floor. “

“Then what happened?”

“I woke up.”

“Go back to me. What do you mean I was kind of like the woman from the movie?”

“You were you but your hair was down passed your cute bubble but, you wore a white flowing dress and green sparkly high heels. Your hips were bigger too.”

Jonesy sat up in disbelief. “My Hair was what? I had a what? I was wearing a what? My hips were what?”

“Yes.” The drummer confirmed.

“No more Jelly Babies and whiskey before bed.” Jonesy decided.

They rolled back on their backs and laid in silence until they both burst out laughing.

Jimmy thumbed through one of the books Jonesy and Bonzo had found. They had agreed to no magic unless it only affected themselves and or their beloved or all four of them. No more fighting back and forth. When he presented it the potion to the rest of the band only Bonzo said no.

“Sorry, Bonz I already put it into the tea.”

“Jimmy!” Bonzo stood up ready to pounce on top of the dark lord. “Ow, my back hurts.” Suddenly a pair of huge dark chocolate colored wings sprouted out of the drummers back.

Now outside Jimmy had black wings, Robert Golden wings, and Jonesy tawny wings.

“So do these actually work?” Jonesy wandered out loud, fluttering his wings.

“Yes" Jimmy flew up a few feet before crashing down then trying again. Jonesy mastered flying first then Robert, then Jimmy. Bonzo sat in the grass, wings folded up tightly.

“Bonzo” Robert started flying circles around his friend. “Come on its fun. It’s not like flying on a plain.”

“No.”

Jimmy flew over. “Come on Bonz, you scared?”

“I don’t want to fly.”

Jonesy hovered over all three of them. “He said no.”

“He’s just scared.” Jimmy teased.

Eventually, Bonzo agreed to try and fly.

“Think of it as driving a fast car, but you’re the car and you aren’t touching the ground.”

Bonzo rolled his eyes and flapped his huge wings. He started out shaky then started flying faster than any of them. He stayed closer to the ground but raced along their land at top speed.

It was late in the evening when the potion was starting to wear off. Bonzo felt his wings start to feel strange. He slowed down then fell to the ground. Feathers fluttered down around him. Everyone else was flying higher up. They were too high to warn them. Jimmy lost his wing next and was saved by Robert. They quickly flew down to the ground. Golden and black feathers fluttered down around them. Jonesy flew closer to the ground but was too slow, He fell at the top of a hill and started tumbling down.

“Jonesy!” Bonzo reached him at the bottom first followed by Jimmy then Robert.

“Jonesy?” Bonzo carefully sat him up.

He shook his head; leaves, grass, and dirt were stuck in his hair and plastered all over his body.

“Something broke?” Jimmy knelt down.

“I think my ribs.”

Bonzo took the bass player to their privet doctor. He did have cracked ribs and several bruises and scrapes. Everyone was a little roughed up.

“This has to end.” Bonzo said as he carried Jonesy back to the vintage hot rod, that they had taken to the doctor.

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Jonesy are you just saying that so we won’t have to burn your books too?”

Jonesy was gently placed on the front seat and the door shut beside him. Bonzo was at his side in seconds. The engine roared to life and they started heading home. “No. You know that Jimmy or Robert would save at least one like last time.”

“So yer saying this isn’t over.”

“No, but if it makes you feel better I can set up protection spells on our part of the mansion. It wouldn’t be unbreakable, but it would protect us from most of the spells Jimmy would try.”

“Please. “ Bonzo replied.

A few weeks later they had completed half an album, it still had the Zeppelin feel, but would hopefully fit into the new music of the ’80s. The rest had to be recorded,

They all four came home from a long week of nonstop work. Jonesy sat with books around him in the Livingroom. Bonzo came up behind with a pint of one of his favorite ales in hand. He carefully placed the beer on the floor before pulling Jonesy in his lap. “Take a break I brought you that summer ail you like. We can share.” He whispered into Jonesy's ear.

Jonesy sipped at the golden fizzy liquid then set it down. “Mm fine.” He traded one book for another.

“John.”

Jonesy closed the book in his arms. “I’m going too far.”

Bonzo took a sip of the citrusy crisp ail.” No. we worked all week, nonstop, and I know you have been up to something. You write half the night away.”

Jonesy took a generous drink then closed the remainder of the books. “Sorry.” He leaned into the strong man behind him. “Thanks for everything. When fall I asleep literally on top of my work you carry me to bed each night.” “I love you” Jonesy breathed in the scent of Bonzo. Leather, motor oil, and hints of beer.

“Jonesy I uhhh, If things were different. Different in the world I- would ask you “Bonzo tensed. “ I would ask you to marry me.”

“And I would say yes.” Jonesy chuckled softly “which name would we chose?” They shifted enough to kiss, long and sweet.


	4. Cats and Hobbits, and plants

Jimmy sat in his study guitar in hand, sheets of music covered the desk, some were on the floor. He sighed in frustration. A frown deepened on his face.

Robert knocked on the door. “Jimmy take a break. You’ve been at it for days.” The blond ruffled the black curls. He saw the sheets half-filled and some were crossed out. “you stuck?”

Jimmy nodded.

“How bout we do some magic fun. I feel very Leo today.”

“Go ask Jonesy

He had some ideas to try with Bonzo.

Robert the couple making lunch in the kitchen, bickering on what to make for the sides.

“We had chips last night!” Jonesy huffed.

“so, these are a different potato different chip.” Bonzo held the sweet potato up in Jonesy's face. “ sweet potatoes er suppose to be healthy.”

“fine, but no beer.”

Robert stood watching the interaction for a few minutes then finally spoke up. “Jonesy will you make me a lion again?”

Jonesy rolled his eyes then muttered the spell. “Robert you know it wouldn’t hurt if you learned the spell.”

The lion roared then ran off the nearest mirror.

** JimJam dream **

That night.

Jimmy tossed and turned in his sleep until he was woken up by Robert.

“Jimmy?”

“what?” he asked

“What were you dreaming of?”

“I’d rather not say.”

“Jim!”

“ We went to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. Or I did at first. You Jones and Bonz were those orange people and never stopped singeing. Then regular versions of all of you appeared. Bonzo drank most of the chocolate river, you turned into a lemon and had to be rolled out and Jonesy… Ummm, I was just kicked out for licking the wallpaper, then …. Jonesy was given the Chocolate factory and we all lived in it. Oh, and Grant was Willy Wonka…… then the starship appeared and it was bigger on the inside and I got lost and then met Crowley. “

** Zep Cats **

Bonzo sat drinking a pint of his favorite ale when suddenly a cat hopped on to the table.

“what in bloody hell?”

The cat was tawny-colored, fluffy little thing. He looked like a half-grown kitten.  
“Mrrrow” It purred as soon as it saw him settling there.

It sat down right in front of the puzzled drummer and blinked slowly at him. He felt the need to slow blink back at those blue eyes.

“Jonesy?”

“MEOW!” the cat nodded then walked up and stood on his hind legs to touch his nose against his.

Bonzo cuddled Jonesy in his arms and started to sing a random song that just came to him.

“Soft kitty, warm kitty.

Little ball of fur.

Happy kitty , sleepy kitty.

Purr, purr, purr.”

Jonesy had nearly fallen asleep and looked as if he was smiling.

Jimmy peaked in the room music sheets in hand. “Hey, Bonz have you seen Jonesy? I wanted him to look at…. When did you get a cat?”

Bonzo carefully held the cat up. “its Jonesy!” (like Lion King)

“Oh, he’s sooo cute and little! ROBERT!!!!! Robert dear”

Robert came running in. “Jimmy love?” He saw the cat in Bonzo’s arms. “I didn’t think of you as a cat person. Can I hold him?”

“It’s Jonesy and You can not hold him he’s mine.”

*later that morning*

Jonesy hoped on the counter to eat a small plate of tuna Bonzo had left for him. Jimmy watched as he drank his afternoon tea, then got an idea. The plate was next to the sink, which was full of water. He crepted up and shoved the tawny cat into the sink.

“MEOW!” Jonesy screamed out and tried to climb out, but fell back in. “HISSSS” “MEOW!” Jonesy couldn’t get out.

Jimmy started laughing until a dark brow fluffy cat came flying out of nowhere. It hissed and spat at him as it clawed him and bit him to shreds. He finally got the cat off of him. He realized it had Bonzo’s eyes. Jimmy dropped the cat and ran around the corner, nearly, falling on an orange cat that had to be Robert. He ran towards the bedroom door when he felt a sharp pain shoot through his body and he somersaulted into the wall. He looked down at his own black paws. The dark brown cat was right behind him. Bonzo was wiggling his hips, preparing to pounce. The drummer stopped when they heard a faint sound of a cat crying. Bonzo turned and ran off at lightning speed and Jimmy followed.

He turned the corner ,back in the kitchen to see Jonesy still struggling to get out of the water. Bonzo jumped on to the counter and tried to pull Jonesy out, only to fall in himself. Robert flew past him and hopped up on the counter then started meowing to Jonesy and Bonzo. The meows now made sense to his ears. _“why haven't I understood the crying cat before. It had to be Jones_ ” Jimmy wandered.

“Bonzo grab hold of Jonesy and I’ll pull you out.”

“what if you fall in too?” Jonesy asked, fatigued from keeping his head above water.

“I won’t” Robert promised and Bonzo grabbed hold of Jonesy and a mother cat would carry her baby kitten. Robert bit down on Bonzo’s tale. The drummer growled in pain, his voice muffled by Jonesy fur.

Soon the rhythm section was safe next to Robert. Jonesy fell to his side completely drained. Bonzo was big enough to pick up the bass player and carry him around the corner and down the hall. Robert jumped down then brushed passed Jimmy, smacking him in the face with his fluffy tail.

Bonzo padded toward their bed then wiggled his hips and hoped on the bed and dropped Jonesy safely in the middle. They cuddled up yin and yang style and fell asleep.

* That afternoon.*

Grant had called Cole to go check on the band. They haven’t answered the phone and he was going to be in the area. He knocked on the door, his dog sitting beside him. Eventually, he tried to open the door and found it was unlocked.

He saw four cats running around playing in the main room. His dog shot after the cats making three of them run for cover.

“Rufus no!” Cole yelled at deaf ears.

“if the band had gotten cats and Rufus ate them …. Jimmy would kill him.

The dark brow cat fluffed its self up and jumped on the dog's face The dog yelped then through the cat off only for the cat to return and jump at him with the scariest meow he had ever heard. The dog yelled and ran out the door, Cole followed and shut the door behind him.

The cat was still running after them to the car.

Bonzo strutted toward the house then growled when he saw the door had been shut. Things got worse when it started raining and the rain turned into freezing rain. He jumped up in the window and cried out until he got Jonesy’s attention. Now the other three were trying to get the door open.

By the time the door opened Bonzo staggered in nearly frozen soled. Ice hung down from his fur and he shivered so much the fell to the floor. Jonesy immediately climbed on top to get him warm again. Jimmy shut the door and turned to see a pile of cat. Robert had curled up next to Bonzo and Jonesy. He curled up on the other side and nearly jumped away at the feeling of ice sill stuck to his friend's fur.

Once Bonzo was warm enough Robert and Jimmy hoped up and ran to Jimmy’s study. Robert sighed at his reflection in the mirror. “ I miss my main.” He meowed. The orange cat purred as Jimmy padded over to him. “Jimmy love.”

“Yes, Percy dear?”

“ I want to be a hobbit.”

“Maybe tomorrow.” Jimmy rubbed against him. “We are going to get cats tomorrow so after that.”

Jonesy and Bonzo had curled up near the fireplace. The brown cat was still a bit chilled from being nearly frozen solid. They were both purring as Jonesy was kneaded Bonzos soft underbelly. “ I never thought you could get more cuddly.” Jonesy meowed.

“I’m still cold.”

“ I can't believe you scared off that dog!” Jonesy purred proudly.

“I had too, everyone else ran away.”

“We are cats and Cole let his dog lose.” Jonesy tried to defend himself.

Bonzo grinned and snuggled closer to the tawny feline. “ How are we gonna get revenge on Jimmy?”

“if we do it will just start another war.” Jonesy touched their noses together again.

“not if you’re sneaky.” Bonzo started licking Jonesy’s fur.

“No.”

“You nearly drowned!” Bonzo growled

“ don’t think he meant to hurt me.”

“ You nearly died!” Bonzo growled. “can cats drink beer?”

“No.”

“ Umm Jonesy, what if we got a pet?”

“ So a dog?”

“or cat.”

They returned home the next day with four cats. Merry, Pippin, Frodo, and Sam.

** Hobbit Lads **

Robert found Bonzo working out in the garden, the autumn produce was ready for harvest. “Bonzo, can you build me a hobbit hole?”

“A what?”

Robert sighed “I’ll lend you The Hobbit and Lord Of The Rings. “

After Bonzo read the books he drew up plans for the hobbit hole. Robert approved and made the drummer a hobbit inspired feast to thank him.

Once the hobbit hole was built it was next to impossible to get the singer out of it.

“JimJam! I want to be a hobbit!”

“Robert it’s a hard potion.”

“Fine ill get Jonesy to do it!”

“I can do it!” Jimmy begged as Robert left the study.

Jonesy made the potion and gave it to his bouncy friend.

“Thank you!” He ran off. Ten minutes later a hobbit size Robert ran across the yard. “I’M GOING ON AN ADVENTURE!” He happily sang.

He sang all the songs from the books and invited everyone else out for breakfast, brunch, elevenses, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, and supper. But they all had to be hobbits.

They all ran around as hobbits in-between meals and went on adventures. Then they sang all the songs from the books together as they drank beer by the pint.

** Garden of love **

Bonzo had expanded the garden to grow ingredients for potions. He had tried his hand at brewing potions and was a natural. Vines of ingredients grew along with a huge wooden framework of wood. The plants so thick it had become a little hiding spot for Bonzo and Jonesy. The weather was cool enough one day one only needed a light coat or to snuggle up with someone to be comfortably warm. Jonesy had his drummer on his back. The earth was soft beneath them. Jonesy kissed along his neck then traced his jawline, finally dancing around his lips.

“Jones..” Bonzo captured Jonesy’s lips with his. They both jumped when Robert popped up out of nowhere.

“well aren’t you two busy” The singer teased obviously high as a kite. He plucked a leaf from the nearest plant. “MINT!”

Bonzo rolled Jonesy carefully off of him. “Rob No!”

Seconds after Robert ate the leaf a crack was heard and smoke surrounded the blond. In his place was a sunflower.

Jimmy came running through the garden tearing things apart as he went, equally as high as the golden god.

“Jimmmy!” Bonzo jumped up and saved the sunflower before it was trampled by the dark lord.

“what was that? Where is Robert?”

Bonzo handed him the sunflower. “there he is.”

“What how? “ Jimmy saw the same plant Robert has eaten. ‘OHHH mint for tea!”

“Jimmy no!” Jonesy sprang up.

Now a weed was in Jimmy’s place.

The rhythm section laughed at the poor Jimmy weed.

“How long does it last?” Jonesy asked

“ Jus a few hours tops.”

Jonesy picked a leaf and ate it.

“Jones!”

Now a red tulip was in Jonesy’s place. Bonzo sighed as he too ate a leaf and turned into a blue tulip.

 _“Why are you two tulips?”_ Jimmy complained.

“ _Hey look at me I’m dancing in the wind!”_ Robert wiggled.

 _“Least I’m not a weed!”_ Bonzo danced with Robert and Jonesy.

 _“and not even the good kind, just a weed_.” Jonesy said.

The next day Bonzo walked out to the garden where they had had their fun. Right where he and Jonesy were was a little purple tulip. He found a little pot and transferred the little flower with care.

“where did that come from? “ Jonesy asked as Bonzo sat it in the window in their room. “why are you blushing?”

“It was.. I found it.” Bonzo turned away. 

Robert walked by the room. “It was from the same place you and Bonz were yesterday... in the garden. Jones do the math.”

Jonesy put the pieces together. He was a red tulip and Bonzo a blue one. So that meant the purple flower was a combination of them both.

The flower never wilted or died. It stayed in the window and was cared for by both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Potions with Bonzo for the next chapter?


	5. Hair, Elements and spaces of their own.

Bonzo finished a special potion. He bottled it up as Jonesy stepped in the room and pulled the chair and Bonzo with it back from the desk. He sat down in his lap looking at the huge desk that took up a good portion of their room. Pots were scattered across the dark wood as well as half full of potions or ingredient jars. “what's this one?” The smaller man pointed to a purple potion that had a silvery liquid swirling around the center.

“Remember the aphrodisiac Jimmy gave us?” Bonzo squeezed Jonesy’s bony hip.

“So that’s why Jimmy gave that book to you for your birthday.” He ran his hands across his drummer's strong chest and down his flat stomach. “ this time off has been good for you, for all of us.”

“When do we leave for the tour?”

“Two days.”

Bonzo smoothed Jonesy’s hair down. “ stop cutting your hair short.”

“ I will if you do.” The bass player picked up the potion Bonzo had just finished. “what's this one do? You said it was for Robert since we'll be gone on his birthday.”

“Make his hair grow longer, n fluffier.” Bonzo kissed Jonesy's forehead. “ when we get back I’m gonna turn that empty room on the third floor into a study for you.”

“ For us.” Jonesy declared.

Robert came running down the hall. “tea's ready, Jimmy made biscuits to go with them”

Jonesy stood up, pulling Bonzo with him. He passed the potion to his drummer.

“Robert. Happy Birthday. “ Bonzo handed the singer the pale blue potion. “ its for yer hair.”

Robert grinned then opened the bottle and drank it in one go.

“You weren’t supposed to drink it!”

“Now what ill happen?” The singer asked, his brows pulled together with worry. “I feel tingly” Robert's hair started to grow so quickly that all they could see was golden curls and his snakeskin boots.

“You look like cousin IT from The Addams Family.” Jonesy fought a laugh. Bonzo was shaking with laughter. They could hear Jimmy's footsteps coming from down the hall.

“Tea and biscuits are going to get cold if you three don’t bloody-“ Jimmy froze at the sight of the golden curls. He fell to the floor laughing.

The hair continued growing until it dragged behind him like a golden river. Robert was able to part the golden locks in the front so he could see. Jimmy tried to cut the curls to a normal length, but Robert ran away, carrying his hair in his arms as he went.

“Jus wait till he falls asleep,” Bonzo told Jimmy.

When Robert finally shut his eyes. Jimmy tried to cut the hair, but Robert slapped his hand away in his sleep like a ninja. Bonzo tried next with the same results. Jonesy snatched the scissors away from his band-mates. “Hold him down.” Jonesy cut the hair as Jimmy and Bonzo struggled to keep Robert still. The singer's hair was now down to the small of his back.

Robert opened his eyes and found his hair way shorter than he wanted it. “Jimmy!!!” He screamed. He had to run through the entire mansion to find Jimmy hiding on top of the bookcase in his study.

“I didn't do it!:”

Robert rolled his eyes and started looking for his best mate and the bassist. “JOHN!”

He found them sleeping in the hobbit hole. He studied the way they slept. Bonzo held the smaller man protectively. He always did, but this time somehow seemed different. He found the scissors and cut the reddish-brown hair even shorter. He started to cut his best mates chocolate waves until they started shifting about. The golden god froze in fear when he saw Bonzo's eyes flutter open. “Run.”

“ Jimmy!” Robert ran as fast as he could away from the beast. “I fucked up”

The dark lord shot up on to the shelves for safety.“if he kills you I'm going to laugh.”

Bonzo slammed the singer against the shelves, causing several books to fall and Jimmy to roll off and hang from the top shelf. “I don’t care who you are. If you do anything like that again…. just don’t.”

“Bu bu but .” Robert stammered. Jimmy struggled to pull himself back up to safety.

“But what?” Bonzo snarled.“ Jimmy nearly drowned Jonesy.” he glanced up at the dark lord.“and he will pay.” Bonzo released the singer and pulled Jimmy down, letting him hit the floor hard.

“I said I was sorry!” Jimmy pleaded as Bonzo marched out of the room.

Jonesy's scream filled the halls. Bonzo ran to the source of the scream.

“ Jonesy love?”

Jonesy's hair was in patches. “We leave tonight!”

“calm down.” Bonzo started to drag him down the hall to the bedroom. He pulled out another jar of the pale blue potion. “open up.”

“I don’t want Rapunzel hair!”

“Then don’t drink the entire thing like Rob.”

“Fine.” Jonesy snatched the jar out of the drummer's hands and drank the liquid. Soon his hair was down to his but. “BoOonnsss”

Bonzo cut Jonesy's hair down to shoulder length.

**Yes! this is an Avatar The Last Airbender Reference**

Now back from the tour Bonzo started getting up early. Jonesy slept in like usual. One morning Bonzo gently shook him awake. “ Jonesy love. Angel. Wake up.”

“mmmnnn” His blue eyes opened.

“Close yer eyes and come with me.”

Bonzo led him up the stairs and down the hall then opened a door. “Open.”

Jonesy’s jaw dropped. The room had a huge desk in the center. It was made of beautiful redwood. Shelves lined two of the walls from floor to ceiling. The wall across from them had a huge circular window, with intricately carved trim. He turned around. A huge mural covered the wall and door. It was of two different landscapes. One was a sunset at the beach, it was a perfect replica of the sunset were they first kissed. The other was a night sky above a field of flowers with a tiny cottage in the center. The place they first made love.

Jonesy kissed the drummer with all the love he had. “I love it.” 

“It gets cold in the winter, but ss better than everything taking up half our room.” Bonzo ruffled the smaller man's hair.

“Why is there only one chair?” Jonesy asked from the leather chair behind the desk.

“ss all yours Jonesy.”

“You need a place to brew potions.”

“I’m fine”

“No. You need your own space. Jimmy and I have studies and Robert has that…thing.”

“Hobbit hole”

“Hobbit hole, you don’t have anything.”

“It's fine.” Bonzo shook his head. “I have a garage full of cars and a garden.”

“You… “ Jonesy gave up trying to convince the drummer otherwise”

Jonesy spent half his time in his new study. Often he fell asleep at the desk or curled up with a book or a few. Bonzo always carried him to bed every time. one night the moon was full and Jimmy was restless and getting on his nerves. He trudged up the stairs and down the hall to Jonesy's study. The bass player was slumped over, candles spaced out for working in the dark. Jonesy never turned the light on. The ceiling was enchanted to look like the night sky. Bonzo shook Jonesy awake and peeled off the paper that was stuck to his face. He glanced down at the paper, on it was a new potion recipe and “Tomorrow??” written on in the corner. “Bonsss “ Jonesy mumbled then clung to Bonzo as he carried him to bed.

The next day Jonesy helped Bonzo with a potion. They all took the potion. “what is this supposed to do.” Jimmy asked.

“We can manipulate the elements of water, earth, fire, or air,” Bonzo explained.

Robert sneezed and flew several feet up in the air. 

“Apparently Rob is air.”

Jimmy held out his hand and concentrated. A little fire formed and hovered over his hand, but didn’t burn. “fire.” He started growing his flame.

Jonesy felt drawn to the water and started to move the water from the pond. Little spheres of water moved about and turned into rivers above the earth.

Bonzo could control the earth. Rocks and chunks of earth flew through the air.

All four spent most of the day mastering the elements. Jimmy was able to make the fire do whatever he wanted. It moved about in different shapes and moved in the air.

Robert could create powerful gusts and streams of wind and move air around things to make them float.

Jonesy could make the water dance and flow however he wanted and could turn it into ice.

Bonzo could make buildings out of slabs of earth and cause mini earthquakes.

Robert slammed Jonesy with a gust of air as he moved the water about in the air. Water fell around him as he fell and slid back. He sat up and tried to make a whip with the water, dirt or mud came with it. Robert used the air powers to propel himself out of the way. The mud hit Bonzo and Jimmy sending them to fall and slide several feet across the muddy yard. Jimmy stood up and nearly fought back, then stopped when he realized he could burn the bassist. Bonzo would most likely kill him if he hurt him in any way. 

Bonzo sent the mud right back at Jonesy. Soon a mud fight broke out. Robert and Jimmy watched as the other couple laughed and covered each other with mud.

“What would we make together?” Jimmy wondered aloud.

“All we'd make is hot air.” Robert sighed as he used the air to fly around a few feet in the air. Jimmy roasted different foods and burnt random things around.

“Wait it's quiet now.” Jimmy worried.

Suddenly Jimmy was swallowed by the earth, only his head was above the surface. Robert was frozen in a block of ice, his head poking out.

“let us go,” Jimmy demanded.

“No.” Bonzo shook his head.

“Let Jimmy go.” Robert snarled. “the ice will melt. And it will take forever to dig Jimmy out.

“I kinda gotta piss” Jimmy admitted.

Bonzo released Jimmy but Jonesy left Robert frozen. 

“Jones!” Robert yelled after the bassist started walking toward their home.

“ yOu sAid the iCE wilL mELt.” Jonesy mocked.

“

  
  
  
**Roberts Dream and ....**   
  
  
  


Robert fell asleep in the corner chair as Jimmy worked late into the night, 

Dream

Robert was one stage front and center. The crowd was strangely quiet; He sang his heart out like usual. 

He held his arm out to his best mate, behind the drum kit. “John Bonham Moby Dick!” He started to leave the stage but stopped when Bonzo grew tentacles grow from his back. The drummer went wild. Near the end of his solo ha saw Jimmy start to walk back on stage followed by Jonesy. But Jimmy looked like a demonic clown and Jonesy a bipedal fox. “Werefox!” He screamed. Robert started to run away but the clown grabbed hold of him and started saying curses. Suddenly the tentacles slapped the demon clown and turned it to a black cloud. The dark cloud drifted toward the nearest groupie. She had long curly blond hair, blue eyes. He thought the worst was over until. Bonzo started flinging his drums off the stage toward the crowd. Then he turned to the amps and other equipment. He screamed, his voice going up to an unnatural octave as he was picked up and thrown threw the air into the crowd. Werefox Jonesy started barking and screaming like a real fox. The crowd carried him for a few minutes then let him fall to the hard ground. 

Robert nearly lept up from the chair as he opened his eyes. “Just a dream” he muttered to himself. He stood up then screamed in horror. Jimmy was spread eagle with clown-like makeup on his face. The terrified singer woke the guitarist, who screamed when he saw himself in the mirror. He looked like a scary clown. His shirt was unbuttoned and revealed three letters written in lipstick. JHB. 

They ran to the study Bonzo had mad for the bassist. They tried to run in but were thrown back by an invisible force. 

Jimmy cursed and screamed at the rhythm section. 

Bonzo covered his ears. “Will he ever shut up.”

Jonesy started guiding the drummer to a panel of bookshelves. “I wanted to surprise you at a more proper time, but…” he reached for a blue book and paused with his hand on it to look back at the drummer. He pulled the book like a leaver and the shelves rotated to be perpendicular with the other-selves. Bonzo stepped in the hidden room. 

It was his very own brewing lab. A huge black desk sat in the center. Shelves were full of ingredients and books. An icebox sat in one corner to house ingredients that needed to stay cold. In another corner was a stove to cook up brews. He had everything he could possibly need to brew any potion.

“ John.” Bonzo kissed him hard and held him tight for a few minutes until he started to explore his new space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have most of the next chapter written. So I will finish it sometime this week and post it. Expect a Firefly reference and goats.


	6. Jonesy's dream, Fluff balls and Goats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there is another Avatar the Last Airbender reference and a few more random references.

Jonesy had fallen asleep in his study on the love seat facing the window. He tossed and turned in the moonlight. “Bonz?” he whimpered. “Bonz?” “John?” finally he woke up just as Bonzo walked in.

“I've had a dream. “ Jonesy sat up and made room for his drummer. 

“Well go on.” Bonzo sat beside him with a pint of ail. 

Jonesy snatched the ail from his hands and drank the entire thing. Anyone else would have gotten a what for but Bonzo simply sat the empty mug down on the floor out of harm. 

“ I don't know if it's the stress off the tour and the new album and everything else or the full moon. “ He glanced at the moon then back at Bonzo. 

“ You don't actually believe that stuff Jimmy does, do ya?”

“ No. I think there is something to it, but not really. “

“Yer dream?”

“We found a space ship. It was a class Firefly mid bulk cargo ship. It looked like a firefly when we flew in space. You screamed bloody murder the first time we flew in her. Her name was serenity. Then you learned to fly her and weren't afraid anymore. Then I learned how to take care of here engine. We worked as the perfect team. Jimmy was the captain and Robert was second mate, and Grant a weapons specialist. We were these uuuuuhhhhh space pirates. Then these terrifying creatures kept chasing us, they were called Reavers. They would kill you, rape you then sow your skin into their clothes. In that order, if you were lucky. Anyways you became the best pilot to ever exist. We lived a short but fulfilling and hard life. Living on the space ship. Oh and we had a thing for fucking in the engine room. Same for the piolets nest but much less intense. “

“ How did it end?” Bonzo remembered hearing him whimper right before he walked in the study.

Jonesy's eyes glistened with tears. “You.” His bottom lip trembled .” you died.”

Bonzo place Jonesy's hand over his heart. “ I'm still here.”

Jonesy felt John’s strong heartbeat for a moment then picked up the empty mug. “ Do you have more?”

“ Yes, but I can think of something better.” Bonzo pressed him into the soft cushions. 

“It felt so real.” 

Bonzo sat up bringing Jonesy with him. He stood up Jonesy's, hand in his, held tightly. “Come with me.”

The drummer led him to his lab. Then pored a scarlet-colored potion into two equal servings. “I was waiting till out anniversary but now seems better.”

He gave Jonesy one of the servings in a little glass. “After we drink this, or rather we give each other this. then after that we, “ he hesitated. “ after this. this potion. when one of us dies the other will too. “

“ John.” Jonesy hugged him, careful not to spill a single drop.

After taking the potion Jonesy gaged.” it tastes like death.”

“Well, it has…”

“No, no don’t tell me.” Jonesy held his hands up. 

  
  
  
  


Robert stole one of Jonesy's books he knew it was only a matter of time until this secret was discovered and John hunted him down. His bandmates often go lost in their spells and potions and grew rather lonely. He wanted to make a friend.

It took several attempts and weeks to make himself a little fluffy ball of a friend. It was an adorable little pink ball. He knew his little friend needed another friend for when he was gone so he made another that was purple. He played all day with his little friends. Suddenly the little balls of fur collided again and again until two more appeared. The sun was setting as they all five played. The price of peace felt a strange shift in the air. Suddenly the little friends grew razor-sharp teeth and started fighting. Robert picked two of them up to separate the fighting, “No need to fight.”

The purple balls started trying to bite him. He dropped them and ran out of the hobbit hole, suiting the door behind him. Once in the safety of their huge home, he was met face to face with Bonzo. He stood with his arms crossed. “It was your turn to fix dinner.”

“I, uuhhh sorry. I'll take your turn tomorrow.” Robert ran off. 

Robert woke with the sun as usual and ran out to the hobbit hole. The fuff balls were back to the sweet little balls of fur, but had multiplied.there were now thirty of them bouncing around. Some of them yellow, some orange, and all the other colors of the rainbow. He played with them all day until they became mean at sunset again. “So they are evil at night,” He left the hobbit hole that now housed fifty of the fluffy balls. He was unaware of the two that hitched a ride in his hair. 

The band woke one morning to millions of the fluffy balls bouncing around, creating a colorful sea they could swim in. The entire first floor was flooded with the little creatures At first, everyone had fun playing with the colorful little balls. Jonesy started juggling them, Jimmy and Robert made them play fight, and Bonzo turned them different colors with potions. After lunch, they played Marco- Polo until Bonzo disappeared. “Bonz?” everyone asked. Suddenly the drummer popped up behind Robert. “Bazinga!” 

The singer jumped. “What's a bazinga?” 

“I don’t know, just felt like saying it.” Bonzo disappeared again.

“Bazinga!” Bonzo grabbed Jonesy by the waist then dove back in with Jonesy still with him.

A couple of minutes later Bonzo sat Jonesy on top of a cabinet out of the fluff balls. “Bazinga!” He disappeared again. 

“What’s gotten into him?” Jimmy asked. Jonesy shrugged his shoulders. 

Jimmy screamed when he was suddenly pulled down under the sea of colorful fluff. 

“Bazinga.” came the muffled call of the drummer.

Robert laughed until he realized he was next. “Bazinga!” Suddenly Bonzo popped up and shoved his best friend under his fluffy friends.

“Ummm, Jimmy love, Bonzo my best mate, Jonesy uummm my uhhh good friend. I need to tell you something about our little friends. They turn evil at night.”

“And you’re telling us now!” all three growled.

“Sorry.” Robert started trying to swim away.

“Sorry!” Jonesy winced when one of the creatures bit his arm. “You're sorry!”

“How do we get rid of them?” Jimmy asked attempting to fend the colorful balls off but wound up with five of them attached to him.

“I don't know.” 

“ you never think things through!” Jimmy huffed.

“I really am sorry!”

Robert started wading through the evermore terrifying creatures. Jimmy grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. “Take care of them. Each and every one of them. Now.”

“But they are..... like my children.” Robert pouted.

“Get rid of them. Or I will.” Bonzo followed Jonesy to the stairs and out of the terrifying sea of evil puff balls.

Robert frantically read spellbook after spellbook to find the answer. It was nearly 2:00 in the morning when he found the counterspell. All the fluffy balls were slowly disappearing. He drug his feet to the bed. Jimmy was waiting for wearing nothing but a smile. 

“Not in the mood. Jimmy love.” Robert fell on the bed face first. 

“They had to go.” Jimmy ran his fingers through the sea of golden hair. 

  
  
  


The rhythm section had taken shelter in Bonzo's lab. Once inside the drummer lit several candles and oil lamps. 

He sat Jonesy down on the couch in a corner. He opened the icebox and rummaged around until he found a light purple potion. He knelt in front of the bassist. “This may sting. “

“You are rather brilliant.” Jonesy winced as the thick purple potion was gently rubbed into each bite. “ not just the best at drums but the best at potions as well.”

“ I know.” Bonzo blushed. “ never tire hearing it from you.” Bonzo smiled wider. “Don't underestimate yourself. How many instruments can you play now? N you’re better than Jim at his own game. How many instruments are ya up to now?”

“10. I'm thinking of learning a new one.”

The position master started on Jonesy’s other arm. “ How about bagpipes?” 

Jonesy thought for a moment then laughed. :” that's just so you can get me in a kilt.”

“ No. “ Bonzo shook his head, kept his head down concentrating on his work. “Okay yes. A kilt and nothing else.”

Jonesy blushed bright red. “What does this brew do?” He tried to distract them both.

“Speeds up healing. Stops the infection. Prevents scars.” Bonzo finished covering the wounds. 

“Now you.” Jonesy kissed him then tugged on his hand.

  
  


The next morning the dark lord and golden god were still covered in bite marks. The rhythm section looked as if nothing happened. 

“This is what we used. “ Bonzo handed the couple a green potion. 

“But that's not…” Jonesy started but stoped when Bonzo glanced at him with a pout. “ oh that's the new position. The better one?”

Bonzo nodded as he held out the potion.

Jimmy eyed them suspiciously as they took the offering. 

Soon the dark lord was screaming at the couple in the study, he could never go into. Robert was hiding. He hated the spells that kept him from entering the beautiful study. The liquid had healed their wounds but it turned their skin a bright neon green, which glowed in the dark. 

  
  
  


One afternoon Bonzo journeyed to his garden to pick some fresh vegetables for dinner. He growled when he saw one of Roberts goats had gotten out again and were eating all of the beautiful produce he was growing. “MY CABBAGES!” He put the goats back on the other side of the fence then ran off to find his goat loving friend.

“Robert keep yer bloody goats out of my garden!” Bonzo yelled about a week later.

“Sorry.” Robert gently pulled the goat away from its snack.

Bonzo had enough of this so he fed the goat a special brew one day. The goat drank it up happily. Soon it grew twice its size. Bonzo laughed as Robert screamed and ranted on about his poor goat. It bleated loudly as if in pain. It started to grow again until it was the size of a small house. 

“Fucking Hell, it wasn't suppos to do that.”

“Gimli was perfect before you got your hands on him!” Robert yelled as he climbed up the goat's side. “It's alright Gimli.” He tried to calm the crying goat.

Jonesy and Jimmy came out hearing the yelling and froze when they saw the giant goat. 

“What did you do?” Jonesy asked 

“ Can we weaponize them?” Jimmy wandered “make them eat rival bands”

The goat bleated loudly. Jonesy covered his ears and started slowly stepping backward.

Bonzo stepped in front of Jonesy then started looking around for another goat.”Fuck, the other one.” he ran towards another goat drinking another position. The goat finished the pink liquid then stood up on its back legs. “I seek revenge on the big one named John that caused my friend such pain.” It said in a strange, but a threatening voice. It ran at surprising speed toward the drummer. None of them not even Robert, who had known John the longest had ever heard him scream in fright. He yelled and screamed just for the fun of it behind his drum kit, but never like this. 

JImmy fell,l laughing at the crazy sight in front of him. Jonesy found a shovel and started running after the bipedal goat. “ He’s mine, you evil goat!” Jonesy yelled, swinging the shovel at the goat. 

Jimmy laughed harder, tears ran down his cheeks.” if it eats you I'll never stop laughing!”

Robert sat on top of the huge goat. “JOHN PAUL JONES DON” T YOU DARE HURT GANDALF! OR I WILL LET GIMLI EAT YOU!” 

Jonesy ignored the threat and hit the goat on the head. The goat was not phased; instead, it turned around and snatched the shovel out of his hands and snapped it in half. Then it bleated loudly in Jonesy's face, before turning to chase the drummer again. 

Bonzo ran as fast as he could around the fenced-in pasture. “I’m sorry “ He panted. “It will wear off in ten hours.” 

Jonesy found a hoe and ran off chasing the goat again, screaming as he went. The goat caught up with the drummer then grabbed hold of him with his mouth and tossed Bonzo through the air into the pound. He landed with a large splash in the shallow muddy water. The goat leaned over him threateningly. “If the big John ever harms any of us beautiful goats. Then we will eat the big John and little John too.” 

The goat ran off, kicking Jonesy into the water in the process. 

After that Robert made sure the goats stayed in their fence and Bonzo never fed any goats a potion again.


	7. Stage craziness and drag racing

They were performing in a little pub. Jonesy had started into "No Quarter". When Robert suddenly turned into a little lion. The microphone fell to the stage floor with a feedback screech and loud thump. Bonzo and Jonesy kept going strong making eye contact with Jimmy. The guitarist picked up the mike and came up with an idea he only hoped would work. “We are illusionists now too.”

Suddenly the strong drumming stopped and the drum sticks fell to the floor. The bear peaked his head out then hid behind the bass drum. The entire venue fell silent. In Jonesy's place was a wolf. Jonesy let out a howl then jumped from instrument to instrument making strange sounds as he went until he landed on one of the drums. Jimmy heard little noises between the rhythm section until Jonesy helped Bonzo climb on top of the drums. Bonzo let out a series of little sounds as if counting off. Then he and Jonesy started playing . Jumping from drum to drum. What they were playing worked well. So Jimmy started to play whatever came to mind. Robert started making lion noises into the mike The crowd cheered loudly as they played. 

All too soon the fox and bear were tiring. And Jimmy found a hoop. He held it up and Robert jumped through it. Jimmy held it higher until it was high above his head. He felt the magic take over and himself turn into a dragon. He picked up the hoop in his claws and started flying around as Robert continued to jump through it as varying heights. They prepared the highest jump. Robert wiggled his hips then launched himself up in the air. Halfway through the hoop he suddenly turned human again. He got stuck and Jimmy dragon could not hold him up anymore. They hit the floor hard, Jimmy tumbled away and Robert crawled after him, hoop still suck around his middle. The bear and wolf pair hoped down from the drums then popped up from behind them as humans again. Soon Jimmy was back too and they continued as normal after the crowd's cheers were tamed down. 

Once Robert bid everyone goodnight and thanked them they all walked off stage. As soon as they were safely behind the closed doors Grant marched up and cornered all four of them. Everyone hid behind the drummer. “Why are all of ya hid behind me for?” 

“Grant’s scary.” Jimmy pressed himself against the wall and used Robert as a human shield. 

Jonesy put a protective arm around Bonzo, but only peeked out from behind him. 

“WHAT IN BLOODY HELL WAS THAT?” the manager asked.    
  


“I can explain.” Jimmy stood on his tiptoes so he could be well seen from behind Robert and his main. “We dabble in magic from time to time. Or rather Jonesy, Bonzo and I , Rob not so much.”

“Robert turned and got in Jimmy's face.”Hey! I’ve started casting spells.” 

“And you are failing miserably. You need to try potions. The bands off balance we need two potion master and two spell casters.”

Grant stepped closer. “That does not answer my question.”

“I don’t know what happened we can usually control everything.”

“Just make sure it never happens again!” Grant growled. “Now you all are going straight to your rooms. I have booked you two rooms under aliases as usual. No birds for any of you tonight, no Beer, No Jack, No heroin, No vodka.” Grant shoved them toward the cars to take them away. 

Now in a joined hotel room, Jimmy was pacing back and forth in front of the window, Robert was jumping from bed to bed as a lion. Jonesy sat with his arms folded and Bonzo drank from his beer allowance Jonesy had brought for him.

“How did this happen?” Jimmy asked himself and everyone in the room. He stopped in front of Bonzo who had a beer in one hand and Jonesy’s hand in the other. “John Henry Bonham did you or did you not cause all of us to turn tonight?”

“Naaa”

“John!”

“No, I did not.”

“John Paul Jones, the same question?” 

“I did not.”

“Robert Anthony Plant” Jimmy caught the lion in mid-air as he jumped from one bed to the other. 

Robert shook his head then paused as if deep in thought, then nodded the lion shook his head.

“What does that mean?” Jimmy asked 

“Did he smoke catnip?” Bonzo asked with half sincerity and half humor.

Robert wiggled out of Jimmy's hands then started bouncing from place to place as the other tried to catch him. Jonesy stopped and tilted his head to one side. “Why are we chasing him? Just turn him back.”

Jimmy muttered the spell as Robert jumped on the TV stand. Once he turned the tv stand fell over. The huge fancy color TV falling close to his head and Jimmy's feet. Robert hid as best he could behind the overturned furniture. 

“Rooobeeeerrrrrt!” Jimmy said like a parent catching a child doing something they shouldn't have. 

“Jimmmmehh.”

“Did you….”

“Kind of I think… Yes and no.”

“Explain!” 

“ I tried to turn us as a joke last night to help with beginning tour stress, it didn't happen ….it it must have been ..ummmm what's the word? Declined? No DELAYED, yes delayed.”

“Bob you ain't as sharp as ya used to be you been smoking too much weed? Fall on yer head?’ Bonzo asked laughing.

Robert grabbed the TV remote and threw it at the drummer, but missed and hit Jonesy hard in the ribs.. 

“OW!” Jonesy complained. “THAT BLOODY HURT LIKE HELL! WHAT WAS THAT A BRICK?!”

“Robert, come ere.” Bonzo said calmly, too calmly. Robert ran, but not fast enough. Bonzo punched him in the face, making his nose bleed.

“JImmmMMMmmmyyyyyYYYyy! Bonzo hit me!”

Jimmy tossed a towel to Robert. “Your fault! And it's your fault! You know better!”

“But Bonzo teased me and I meant to hit him not Jonesy.”

“All of this is your fault.” He turned to Bonzo who was carefully taking Jonesy to their room. “Can I stay with you two tonight?”

“Fine, but convenience Grant to let us to the Doctor or bring one here.” Bonzo sat the smaller man on one of the beds. “Let me see,”

Jonesy took his shirt off wincing as he lifted his arms. Bonzo started gently feeling along his ribs, until Jonesy jerked back, hissing in pain.

“I think ss broke.”

“I know I was the one who was hit then you touched it!” Jonesy frowned. “I'm sorry! I’m just tired and pissed off at Robert.”

A couple of hours later Bonzo and Jonesy returned from a trip to the nearest hospital. “He has a few broken ribs!” The drummer said loud enough for Robert to hear. 

Once the door between the rooms was shut locking Robert out. Jimmy turned off the TV. “Soooo that thing you did tonight was brilliant. I was wondering if you would play one of those floor pianos you know like in the movie “Big”?”

“What?” Jonesy asked, irritated from the night and tired. 

“You know it's huge and on the floor and you step and hop on it.” Jimmy sat up on the bed. “I would give you two a duet.”

Once back from tour Jimmy had the instrument ordered and the little bear and wolf practiced hopping on the piano, mastering song after song. Well, song after song after Jonesy taught Bonzo how to play the piano. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Bonzo had bought a new car. It was sleek and aerodynamic like a dragster. Only two seats with a roll cage and four-way harness for seat belts, and a parachute. 

“And that is supposed to make me feel better?” Jonesy said quietly but his voice went up an octave. “What are you putting in it?”

“Her name is "Little wolf", it's safe, I promise, and its a potion sorta like nitrous.”

“Like what?”

“ nitrous, member when we went to that drag race at the track a couple of months ago and people used regular cars that were modified to race? Then they took off all of a sudden on the quarter-mile and half-mile races?”

Jonesy shook his head, eyes wide in realization, and started walking backward. “No.”

Bonzo caught him and started pulling him towards the passenger side. “it ‘ll be fine and remember the potion we took? So if one of something did happen and nothing worked proper we both die.” He handed Jonesy the fire suit and helmet. “Put that on.” 

Soon they made their way to the quarter-mile section of road near their home. Once halfway down the straight Bonzo pulled a leaver and they were sent flying. Jonesy screamed in fright and Bonzo screamed in delight. At the end, the parachute slowed them down before they got to the first curve in the road. 

Bonzo looked over and found Jonesy shaking like a leaf in the wind of a storm. “You alright?”

“N-noo. B-but I s-see wh-why u-u- you liiike to to d-d-d thissss.” Jonesy found himself leaning toward him, but didn't really want to, he was kinda pissed about what just happened.

“Sorry.” Bonzo turned the car around and drove them home. 

Once in normal clothes and cuddling on the couch in the lab. Bonzo held him, kissing every inch of exposed skin and rubbing little circles with his thumb on the back of his shoulders. Jonesy hummed as Bonzo purposely targeted a sensitive spot, Jonesy favorite. 

“Don’t think this gets you out of trouble. “Jonesy had stopped shaking and calmed down. “You get nothing for a month.”

  
  


“I said I was sorry.” Bonzo said in between kisses. “I’ll never make you do that again.”

Jonesy stood up and left locking himself in his study for the rest of the day.


	8. Hair, Samson hair

One night after Jimmy was right down mean to him and Bonzo and even Robert, Jonesy snuck out of bed and found the best pair of scissors in the house. He tiptoed to the other bedroom and cracked the door open. Only one person was asleep in the bed, an explosion of blond curly hair covered one of the pillows. “Where is Jimmy?” Jonesy wandered to himself. He went through the house checking each room for the dark lord. He finally found in his study sleeping on the huge couch he and Bonzo had gotten him for his birthday. He moved the scissors twice as if cutting imaginary paper before beginning to cut the dark curls. He thought about making it neat but then decided against it after what he had said to Bonzo earlier. 

He grinned as he snuck away and then cleaned the scissors then crawled back into the bed with the drummer. He couldn't sleep so he got up and locked the door, then turned around halfway back to the warm bed and put a chair in front of it for good measure. He snuggled back into Bonzo and drifted off to sleep. 

Jonesy woke up suddenly to a rapid banging at the door. “ I know you're in there Bonz!” Jimmy yelled.

“I didn't do anythin!”

“Then who cut my hair last night?” Jimmy's muffled angry words came through.

“That’s what you get for calling Bonzo fat yesterday!”

“JONES!” “You will pay both of you!”

“But I haven't done nothing!” Bonzo shot back.

“Shut up fatty!”

“I’ve lost all the weight!” “shut up Jim.”

“You are still fat compared to us!”

“No, I'm not!”

“You're not skinny like me and Rob and Jonesy. You have a squishy tummy!”

Bonzo sighed and hung his head. “Tell em, Jones. Jones? Jonesy? Where'd ya go?” Bonzo had to search for the bassist who was hiding under the bed. “Jonesy come here” Bonzo pulled him out by the arm. 

“I think I fucked up this time.” Jonesy said.

“He deserves it. “ Bonzo kissed his forehead. ” He'll have to go through me to get to you. We both know that's not happening.”

“ I know.”

“What?” Jonesy asked in disbelief. 

“You can be scary when you’re angry.”

Jonesy just sat there for a couple of seconds. “Do I scare you too?”

“N-no.” the drummer leaned back shaking his head.

“Yes, you are!” Jonesy beamed with pride. 

“Nooooo” Bonzo moved back against the wall. 

Jonesy got right in his face . “yes.”

“Fine, yes!”

Jonesy kissed his cheek then turned heading to the shower, pulling Bonzo with him. 

Two nights later Jimmy finally got his chance. Jonesy had fallen asleep in bed for once. Bonzo was the one working late at night in his lab. He had searched for weeks to find a counterspell or counterspells and a few potions that would allow him to temporarily deflect the charms shield the rhythm section had put on their lap and study. He didn't blame them, they needed a place, quiet where he and Robert could not go. He didn't have much time before the stronger charms kicked in as a secondary defense system and he would go flying out of the room. He walked across the doorway and tiptoed toward the drummer, slumped over a desk, hair splayed out around him. “Perfect.” Jimmy thought as he started cutting. Bonzo nearly woke several times, but Jimmy got done and out before anything happened, but before he left he dumped the hair grow potion in the sink.  _ “I should have drunk that, and not just poured it out.” _

Bonzo woke up and found his hair cut off. “PAGE!” He growled. He ran out of the room and down the hall. Robert came bouncing down the hall and froze at the site. “Woah.”

Bonzo shoved him aside and found Jimmy in the kitchen downstairs. “PAGE WHAT IN BLOODY HELL WERE YOU THINKING?”

“Jimmy jumped on top of the huge freezer. “I was thinking you cut my hair or Jonesy did. So you deserve the same. You’ve been a bad influence on him.”

Bonzo threw an apple at Jimmy who caught it. “Ah, thanks for breakfast!” Jimmy said sarcastically 

“Fuck off.” 

  
  


Jonesy frowned at the new hair cut the drummer was now wearing. “Did you do that or Jimmy?”

“Jimmy and he poured out the potion to grow your hair back. “

“You can just make more”

“We leave tomorrow morning. It takes three days to make, and I can't just make it on tour can I, No!”

Bonzo found the scissors that had been used to cut Jimmy's hair and his. He hid them deep in his suitcase. He had plans for Robert's precious hair.

  
  


Bonzo snuck in the hotel room when he by complete chance left the door open just a crack. Soon the golden curls were gone, or at least much shorter, shorter than he had ever seen the singer's hair, even in “Band of Joy '' days. Bonzo tossed the scissors in the dumpster on the way to the hotel Jonesy was staying at. He knocked at the door and waited as an angry Jonesy approached. 

“WHO THE HELL GOT MY ROOM NUMBER!?”

“It's me!” Bonzo stepped away, just in case the bassist would still be upset.

Jonesy opened the door and let him in. “It's-two-in-the-morning!”

“You don't normally complain when I keep you up until later”

“Shut up and go to sleep. Put your stuff by mine.” Jonesy pointed to the bags in the corner. “We have the first show tomorrow night.” 

  
  


Robert woke up with a scream loud enough to wake the entire hotel floor. He ran out of his room and pounded on it. “JImmMMMYYYYYyy!”

“What the Hell!” Jimmy yelled as he opened the door. “Oh, I see Bonzo got you last night.” Jimmy laughed. 

“It's not funny.” Robert whined.

“Yes, it is.” 

“I hate you sometimes.” Robert pouted.

“I know.” Jimmy smiled

“Should we cut Jonesy’s hair?”

“NO! Bonzo would kill us!” Robert growled. “You remember what he said last time!” Robert’s hands were in fists. “You fear them more than I.”

“Only because you’re best mates with Bonzo.” “We met in “Band of Joy” we’re childhood friends,” Jimmy said in a mocking voice.

“Grrrrnnnnnrrr!” Robert shoved Jimmy in past the door and pulled it shut as hard as he could.

  
  
  
  
  


Now the show was about to begin. They were all getting ready. Bonzo passed back and forth. Robert was trying to make his hair appear longer. Jimmy hound a hat to cover up his short locks. 

Jonesy got up and placed a hand on Bonzo. “ You seem more nervous than usual.”

“I don’t know why do I just am. I feel weak.”

Jonesy felt his forehead. “You’re not sick are you?” 

“No.” 

“Drinking already?”

“I told you I don't drink like that anymore.”

“I know. I know, just with what happened I thought you might drink before. “

“I’m not Robert, I didn't cry when my hair was cut.”

Robert heard the insult from across the room “Hey I didn't cry my eyes leaked!”

“Same difference.” Bonzo shot back

“It’s time lads!” Grant said.

“Oh, god, oh god, oh god! I’m not ready! I’ve gone from a furious lion to a baby lion! Bonzo cut my main!” 

“Robert! SHUT UP!” Grant shoved the singer and the rest of the band on stage. 

  
  


“Good evening,” Robert said but frowned at how quiet his voice was. “Good evening!” He tried to speak louder but failed. 

Once they started into “Immigrant Song” Jonesy realized something was very wrong with Bonzo. His god of thunder played quietly. Jimmy played like a sloppy 5-year-old, wh just got a guitar and was playing around with it. Robert squealed and squawked, without the strong energy in his voice. He was completely fine. Better than fine! It was his time to shine! His Bass, keyboard, organ, and anything else he played, rang out like never before.

Now backstage, no birds were waiting for Robert or Jimmy. There weren't even the few that wanted Bonzo that they sometimes got. The few that were there immediately flocked to him. Showering him with praise and any compliment they could think of. He gave Bonzo the “I’m sorry, but we can't let the world know our secret. I love you. I’m sorry “ look they gave each other when they took a bird with them for the night to keep up their image and protect their secret. 

The other three shuffled back to their rooms alone. Jonesy regretfully chose a bird that looked the most like Bonzo as he could. 

  
  


Then the next day Jonesy found his bandmates eating lunch, no bird form last night in the site. He came alone after sending his home and making sure she had arrived there safely. 

“I’ve figured it out, what happened last night.”

“What?” Jimmy asked. 

“You know the story of Samson?” 

“Like from the Bible?” Bonzo aksed.

“What? “ Jimmy and Robert asked.

“The one with the bloke that gets his hair cut off and loses his strength.”

“Oh.” Robert sighed.

“Bonzo, can you make that potion that grows your hair back?”

“I'll need a way and place to brew it, and it takes three days.”The potions master said. “But you get none.”

“WHY!”

“You started this mess.”

“Okay, fine I’ll admit that, what do you need?”

“I need ….. Bonzo started listing off ingredients and equipment.

Later Bonzo and Robert’s hair was back to the previous length. 

“PLEASE I'LL DO ANYTHING!” Jimmy begged.

“anything ?” Bonzo asked.

“YES!” 

Bonzo had Jimmy as his little servant for the rest of the tour in exchange for the potion.

The next show everyone nervously started “Rock N Roll” They played with the old talent they always had. Bonzo got a thirty-minute solo every night. Jonesy got “No Quarter’ each night. There were no Jimmy solos. The rhythm section shined the entire time. In between shows Jimmy and Robert catered to Bonzo and Jonesy's every need and want.


	9. The lion jumped over the moon.

Jonesy walked through the house then saw something out of the corner of his eye. He stopped looking out the window. Suddenly he saw a little lion fly up in the air then go back again. Then his little bear flew upside down. Then the lion then the bear. “ _This is the second floor!”_ Jonesy stepped closer to the window. Bonzo saw him on a jump. Robert jumped but was turned away. The drummer waved at him with a paw. Each time the bear would rise up he was in a different pose. Soon Robert joined in with the fun. 

The lion and bear did the; superman, pigeon, then they wiggled their buts, did the ‘draw me like one of your french girls ‘upside down, the happy baby and any other pose a person could imagen. 

Jimmy walked up behind him. “What are you doing? You’ve been standing there for an hour. “

Jonesy pointed at the flying animals. 

They watched the two play in the air until suddenly Bonzo never came back up. Robert started franticly roaring and waving his paws,

“What in hell is he doing?” Jimmy wondered out loud. 

“Jonesy.”

“Jonesy?”

“Jonesy?”

“John?”

“John Paul?” Jimmy looked for his little friend, but he was gone.

“Where’d you go?”Jimmy walked down the hall than dow the stairs.”I need to put a bell around your neck, you can be so quiet some…. All of the time.” Jimmy muttered aloud.

Jonesy came through the doors cradling his bear and the little lion walked beside him, looking up in concern. 

“What happened?”

“Trampoline. Bonzo fell and cut his paw on a rock.” Jonesy said calmly. 

Jimmy and Robert followed the pair to their room. The door shut and Robert started to paw at the door and whine.

  
  


Jonesy sat Bonzo on the bed, “turn back.” he demanded.

Bonzo was human again, the transformation reviled just how bad the cut was. 

“This is worse than any drumming injury.” Jonesy led him to the bathroom. “Remember the time you sliced both hands open and dripped blood from the stage to the dressing room? That was the first time I ever patched you up.”

“Yeah.” Bonzo answered thinking of that night.

“What happened?” Jonesy got the bandages from the cabinet and the healing potion from the tiny icebox in the corner of their room.

“Robert landed right after me n I bounced off.” Bonzo started the water at the sink and put his hand under the flow. 

Jonesy pulled his good hand away and took over cleaning the wound. “Was it worth it?”

“Yes.” Bonzo winced as his wound was patted dry. Then he was guided to sit down on the side of the bathtub. Jonesy got down on his knees and put the purple potion on the deep cut then covered it up.

“Thanks”

Jonesy stood up then ran his fingers through Bonzo’s hair. “You have leaves in your hair.”

“Before we jumped on the trampoline we jumped into a pile of leaves.”

  
  


Jonesy started combing through Bonzo’s hair. “I can’t get it all out. You have dirt all over your face.” “ Bath?”

  
  


Now Bonzo was sitting in Jonesy’s lap, in the bathtub. “where did that bruise come from?”:

“ hit me shoulder when I fell.”

“And this scratch?” Jonesy ran his finger down the drummers back.

“ don’t know.”

“You were pretty far from the trampoline. Did you bounce?”

“No, somersaulted though.”

Jonesy laughed at the image of the little bear rolling on the ground.

“Iss not funny. I hurt.” Bonzo wiggled the fingers of his injured hand, that hung safely out of the water and off the side of the tub.

“Sorry.”

They sat in silence as Jonesy carefully washed the dirt and pieces of leaves away. Then Jonesy pulled Bonzo back to rest his head on his chest.

“When did we get a trampoline?”

“I got it for Rob’s birthday.”

Jonesy rubbed little circles on Bonzo’s hips with his thumbs. “Wait where did you get leaves to jump into. It’s the middle of august?”

  
“Rob tried to make a tree with a spell and jus made a huge pile of leaves.”

“He can not do spells well can he?”

“Nope”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Robert turned back to human form and let himself fall back on the couch. He ran his hands down his face. 

Jimmy sat down beside him. “What happened? “

“I came down and bounced Bonzo off the trampoline, then he somersaulted down the hill.”

“Why do you have a leaf in your hair?”

“I tried to make a tree, so we could build a tree-house.”

“You mean Bonzo could build a tree-house.”

“All I got was a pile of leaves.”

“Why do you need a tree-house? You have a mansion and a hobbit hole.”

“Why not?” Robert nervously tapped his foot.

“Robert?”

“Do you think Bonzo’s okay?”

“If he wasn’t Jonesy would be out here giving us a lecture.” The dark lord shivered at the memory of the last time they made the ‘quiet one’ mad. 

“Jimmy if I made that potion and grew my hair long enough do you think you could climb it from the ground up to a tree-house?”

“No.”

“Will you go back on solid foods so we can try.”

“No.”

“But you jump on top of things when you make Bonzo or Jonesy mad.”

“No.”

Robert got up and headed up the stairs. “I’m going to check on Bonzo.” The golden god started looking for the rhythm section. The study was empty and so was the lab. He wished he could go into those amazing, beautiful rooms. He wished Jimmy would make him something as loving as Bonzo and Jonesy gave the other. Bonzo did build him a hobbit hole, but that was different. 

The door to the bedroom was still shut and locked. He knocked on the door and got no answer.

“Bonzo? Jonesy? “ He called loudly.

“What?” Bonzo asked in an annoyed tone. 

“Are you alright?”

“Yes.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“Go get me a beer!”

Robert made the trip to the kitchen and found no beer.

“Jimmy Love.” Robert peaked in the door to the study. 

“Yes” 

“I’m going to town to get beer for Bonzo.”

“Bye.”

“Jimmy, will you make an apology potion for Bonzo?”

“You make it.”

  
  
  


Robert returned and found the couple cuddled up in Jonesy’s study. 

“I had to go to town to get you beer. Can I come in?”

Bonzo looked at Jonesy. They whispered back and forth. Then Jonesy got up and rummaged around in a draw. He bright the singer a bracelet. 

“Put this on. It makes you immune to the curses and charms we put on our rooms so you and Jimmy can’t get in.”

“Bonzo?”

“I’m fine mate. Juss a little roughed up. Did you put the goats back in?”

“No. Why?”

“They ate the trampoline.”

“THEY WHAT!”

“You heard me.”

Robert pouted. “Your hand?”

“He won’t be able to play for at least a week.” Jonesy huffed.

“I am sorry.” This time it was to the bassist.

“Is fine.” Bonzo insisted.

“Your beer.” Robert handed him his favorite ail still pouting.

“He has a cracked rib and 12 bruises.” Jonesy frowned. “And cut down his back.”

“I said sorry. I’ll make it up to you.” 

“Can I borrow one of your potions books?” Robert asked.

“Yes.”

“Thank you!” Robert took one of the books and ran out of the room.

  
  


Robert spent the next week trying different to make different potions. He succeeded with most and now he was ready to make one for Bonzo and Jonesy.

He snuck out to Bonzo’s garden to get more ingredients. Over the fence, he went and quietly he walked. 

“Grrr.”

Robert stopped and looked around. Nothing. 

Robert picked some clover and lavender. 

“Grrrr”

He looked for the source of the growling. Nothing, but a little purple cone was seen in the garden, poking up in the middle of the flowers. 

Robert walked to the corner and picked a mushroom. 

“GRRR”

Robert turned to see the came purple cone. IT had moved! 

“AHHHHH” Suddenly a little gnome jumped out of the catnip and started chasing him. It had green skin, yellow eyes, and a purple cone on its head. 

Robert screamed as he ran and jumped the fence. He ran all the way to the pound where Jonesy and Bonzo were having a picnic. 

“There- there is an evil gnome in the garden.” He panted.

“No that’s jus, Bessy.”

“What?”

“He defends the garden from little thieves like you!”

“Oh.” Robert turned and walked off.

“Hey, Rob Bob!”

“Yes, Jonesy?”

“Bessy bit you on the but.”

Robert looked at his ass and gasped at the hole in his red velvet trousers. He hung his head and trudged up to the mansion. 

One day later he found Bonzo and Jonesy in the lab. Jonesy was helping Bonzo with a new potion. 

“Here.” Robert held out a silver potion.

Jonesy took it and narrowed his eyes. “What does it do?”

“You can breath underwater.” Robert sat down in on the couch in the corner. “I tested it myself.”


	10. This is the Start of Halloween!

**Trick or Treat**

“Ss the spell to turn us into kids?” Bonzo asked.

Jimmy simply nodded. 

Bonzo carefully wrote the spell down then ran off out of the study. “Joooonnseyyyyyy!”

Jonesy poked his head out of his study. “What.”

“We er going trick or treating.”

“Why?” He asked as he shut the door.

“Free candy.” Bonzo looked like a kid waiting to go in a candy store and looking in planning which treat he would eat first.

“But we can just go and buy a bag of our favorites.”

“That’s cheating. Now let's make costumes.”

  
  
  
  


Several hours later kid Bonzo and kid Jonesy ran out dressed as a bear and fox. Robert joined last second followed by Jimmy. 

Jonesy kept glancing over to the little drummer dressed as a bear complete with a face painted to match. “You were cute as a kid.”

“You thinned out as you got older, I wouldn't mind if you thicken up abit.” Bonzo prayed the paint hid the blush on his cheeks.” iiid be kinof a turned on.” “OW!” Jonesy had punched him in the arm.

“Bonzo I think that family just heard that kids do NOT say things like that.”

Jimmy strutted ahead of them his beautiful glittery tail trailing behind him. “don't be stupid Bonz. You could blow our cover,”

“Don’t ruin this Bonz.” Robert held his head up high so his main was on display.

Jimmy knocked on the door. 

“How many more are we gonna do?” Jonesy whined.

“Till the bags er filled up.”

“But they will be hard to get home.” Jonesy sat the bag down to rest his arms. 

“That's part of it.” Bonzo proclaimed.

The door opened, “TRICK- OR- TREAT!”

A teen girl answered the door. “You four look so cute! Wait where are your mum and dad’s?”

Jimmy held up his bad. “Around the corner. Now gimme.”

“You guys look familiar. Have I met you somewhere? I was just at a Zeppelin concert did I meet you there?”

“No.” Robert said a bit too forceful remembering the teen from the last concert that he had brought backstage.

  
  
  


As they were walking home, barely able to carry the bags of treats a little boy had been following them and eating candy and looking at the rhythm section. “Shouldn't it be the fox and the hound, not the fox and the bear and the lion and dragon?”

“Piss off!” Bonzo spat and led the others at a quicker pace. “Let's go get chocolate wasted again.”

The little boy snarled and followed them. Throwing insults at them. “Your costumes look horrible. Homemade. I bet you're poor. No skills in making costumes.” He snarled

“It should be lion, tiger and bear.” He ran and stopped in front of them. “I mean dragons are brilliant so you're alright, but tigers are better than foxes. “

Jonesy handed his bag of candy to the bear and turned around. Jonesy had endured enough and was tired and sore. “Shut the bloody hell up! You are a fat, lazy, stupid excuse for a human being, You eat candy from the bag it came in. You were an expensive costume from the store. You look like you never did anything other than lay around and eat. You get everything you always wanted for free. You are a spoiled little brat!”

The little boy teared up and ran off dropping his candy and leaving it behind. 

Jimmy picked up the half-full bag, “AHH free candy!”

“Jimmy we should leave it for him to come back and get it,” Robert admitted.

Jimmy leads them around the final corner to their home. “Finders keepers, losers weepers!”

“You don't even like that stuff.”

“Yeah but Jonesy likes it, we can make him fat for Bonz.”

“I don't want him tu be fat! Jus thicker n a tiny bit chunky.”

“You all talk like I’m not standing right here.”

Bonzo gave him an apologetic look then whispered in his ear. The face paint had thinned out from sweat and wear and tear during the night. Blush shined through and Jonesy picked up both bags of candy and walked quickly toward their bedroom. Bonzo followed.

Robert watched them disappear down the hall. “What just happened?”

“Something tells me Jonesy is kinkier than we thing and Bonz is a romantic at heart and apparently can seduce Jonesy anytime he wants.”

The next morning they all still had tummy aches from eating candy. Jimmy sorted through all the candy.

Robert sat up rubbing his belly. “Next year we should go as Robin Hood and his merry men,.” 

“So you as Robin Hood and …” Jimmy started giggling. “Jonesy as little John.”

The John’s growled then left the room.

“What? It would work!” Jimmy turned to Robert who was rubbing his belly.”He is the little John.”

“Jimmy love. I think you still may be chocolate wasted.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**Demons talk**  
  
  
  
  
  


Jimmy sat with the strange board in front of him. “I need help over here.”

Jonesy rolled his eyes. “It’s not real!”

“Yes, it is!”

They all sat around the ouija board. 

“How do you do it?” Robert asked, attempting to hide his nervousness and falling. 

“Put your hands on this and we ask questions. 

“But won't this alow things to cross over?” Bonzo placed his hand on the little piece of wood with a hole in the middle.

“Tell me you do not believe in this?” Jonesy looked over to his partner.

“No, jus taking precautions.”

“Shut up!” Jimmy growled. “Are there any spirits in our presence?”

The little device moved to the “yes.”

Jonesy shook his head. “You are moving it. Or its the power of suggestion!”

“That's what the demons want you to think!” Jimmy spat out. 

Robert was shaking. “Can - can they harm us?”

“Yes.” Jimmy smiled, “Who are you?”

The marker moved to “No”

“Do you mean us any harm?”:

“Yes”

Jonesy threw his hands in the air. “Enough of this! It's just you getting smart Page,”

“Prove your existence to us!” Jimmy demand.

After a few seconds of Robert rocking back and forth and Bonzo sitting beside Jonesy, both with stoec expressions on their faces. 

“Ha! It is not real!” Jonesy stood up to leave the room but the door shut hard in front of him, “Just the wind or the house was unlevel,” He pulled on the door handle. “Its jammed.” Jonesy turned around. “Bonz.”

Bonzo pulled on the door with all his might. “Ss not gonna open,”

“This still does not prove anything.” Jonesy groaned. “Where did Robert get the pillow?”

Robert was hiding behind a huge pillow and covered in a blanket. ” Can you throw something?” he asked his voice muffled by the false protection.

Suddenly a book flew across the room nearly hitting Jonesy. 

“Bloody fucking hell it's real” Bonzo pulled Jonesy close protectively.

Jonesy shrugged him off. “No, it is not! Its just wires and illusions!” 

“Prove it then!” Jimmy challenged. 

One hour later Jonesy plopped down on the couch and sighed rubbing his eyes. “I admit you're good.”

Jimmy giggled. “ If the same spirit is present then prove yourself to the skeptic.”

An apparition of a dark humanoid figure appeared. 

“Just smoke and mirrors!” Jonesy complained. 

The apparition flew across the room and shoved Jonesy agist the wall.

“Okay, it's real!” 

Bonzo roared and ran across the room and tried to free what was his. “Give him back you fucking bloody bastard!”

Bonzo was hung by his feet from the ceiling. “Put me bloody fucking down!” 

Jimmy was rolling on the floor laughing and Robert was hiding in the corner. 

“Why are you here?” Robert asked. 

“You summoned me you idiot!” a ominous voice said, 

Robert threw the pillow toward the demon. It laughed as the pillow went right through it. 

“Put me down!” Bonzo demanded. “Release Jonesy too!”

The demon laughed again then let Bonzo and Jonesy fall to the floor. 

“Let us leave!”

The room was suddenly full of lettuce. “Lettuce leaf?” the dark figure taunted,

“No, let us out of this room”

“Let you fly on a broom?” the demon laughed as brooms appeared and hovered over the lettuce,

“Be gone!” Robert begged. 

“Be a gonge?’

The demon turned into a gong that rested on the pile of letus leaves and flying brooms.

“Go away!” Bonzo growled. 

“Invite strays!”

The room was filled near to the top now with stray cats.

Jimmy was still laughing his ass off and Robert managed to hide in a corner in relative safety. The John’s clung together for more protecting each other than fear. 

“That’s it!” Jonesy yelled and started saying a spell to exorcise the demon, 

“No!” it cried before it flew off as a stream of black smoke.

Suddenly everything that had appeared from the demon vanished, Jimmy sat at the boar again. “Alaster Crowley do you hear me?”

“Yes, I hear you!

Jimmy lit up like a Christmas tree until he realized the drummer was playing a trick on him.

“Fuck off Bonz!” Jimmy hissed.

**Author's Note:**

> I may write more of this if it gets good comments and kudos.
> 
> Also tell me your favorite part, please!
> 
> Comment an idea for this too, I may or may not use it but, bring em!


End file.
